Dear Rory,
Life goes on without you. This time of year always sneaks up on me. I don't know why. It's not like I don't know it's coming. I guess I just think that your birthday and your death day will pass without me having to go though all the emotion. Right now, I really don't want to go through all the emotion. I want to think "Happy Birthday Rory" and "I wish you were here" without everything that goes along with that for me. It is very frustrating.
Your birthday is difficult for me. I still feel like you should be here. Today I'm angry. I have been tempted lately to read your letter again. I have only read it once, but I can't bring myself to do it. I know there are pieces of you in that letter, but I feel like it is all the bad pieces. It's not all of you. I recognize that the bad was still a part of you but the good was so much more. Why didn't you know that.
I'm at the point now where I want to know about your whole life. When you were here, I couldn't bear hearing about a child being treated as if they didn't matter. Now, I want to know everything. I want to know about what happened to you. You were physically changed because of what you went through and the only thing that is constantly goes through my mind when I think of you is...it isn't fair.
You got what you wanted by ending your life and I don't get to have what I want.
I want you to meet Evie
I want you to meet some other really cool people that have become our friends
I want you to see the new Batman movies
I want to play cards with you again
I want to give you a hug
I want to tell you I love you
I want to tell you not to go
I want to wish you Happy Birthday in person and not on some stupid blog
I want to punch you in the face
I want to listen to you and Brian argue about something really dumb
I want to hear you laugh again
I want to know you can hear me
I want another day with you
It's not fair that I have to keep writing these letters.
I miss you.
I'm sad.
I love you still.
Gina
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Sunday, August 21, 2011
The Tortoise Known as Nugget
Yup. I'm blogging about our tortoise. Never thought I would, yet here I am, publicly displaying my feelings for a reptile. Don't judge. ;)
You might ask why I am posting about Nugget...well after a visit to the vet to get her beak (yes, beak) and nails trimmed, we also opted to do some blood work on her. Not because she has been sick or acting out of the ordinary, but because we bring her in every 5 years or so and figured, why not? Well, blood work shows that something is going on with her liver. I will get into more detail with that later, but for now...story time...
(If you don't want to read all of the background and memories, please scroll down. I won't be offended. I promise.)
If you know us, you know that in our house we are in possession of a tortoise. Her name is Nugget. She is located on the landing of our stairs and since we have a split entry, when you walk into our house you can see her cage. At first, many people are freaked out. They aren't sure what is living in the enclosure and want to make sure it isn't a snake. Once the inquiring mind is told that it is a tortoise, the questions begin...
You might ask why I am posting about Nugget...well after a visit to the vet to get her beak (yes, beak) and nails trimmed, we also opted to do some blood work on her. Not because she has been sick or acting out of the ordinary, but because we bring her in every 5 years or so and figured, why not? Well, blood work shows that something is going on with her liver. I will get into more detail with that later, but for now...story time...
(If you don't want to read all of the background and memories, please scroll down. I won't be offended. I promise.)
If you know us, you know that in our house we are in possession of a tortoise. Her name is Nugget. She is located on the landing of our stairs and since we have a split entry, when you walk into our house you can see her cage. At first, many people are freaked out. They aren't sure what is living in the enclosure and want to make sure it isn't a snake. Once the inquiring mind is told that it is a tortoise, the questions begin...
- Really? Why?
- What is his or her or its name?
- How big is she? (She usually is hiding so at first glance people can't see her)
- How did you get her?
- What does she eat?
- What do you do with her?
- How long will she live?
It's almost inevitable that if you are meeting Nugget for the first time you are going to ask many if not all of these questions. So, here is the story of Nugget told from my perspective.
Brian has always been drawn to turtles. My life has been in danger a few times now because we have stopped too quickly to help or not run over a turtle in the road. Seriously...scared for my life. But when Brian went to college his neighbors had this tortoise, so of course, he was very interested in her and what she was like. Toward the end of his first year, his neighbors were taking apart their room and asked Brian to keep her with him for the week. When it was time to head back home, they simply asked if he wanted her. So, Spring of 1996, Brian got a new pet tortoise named Nugget.
If you know Brian at all, you know that he does his research. Whether he is looking at new cars, or is just slightly interested in something, he is doing what he can to find out as much as he can about the topic. In searching he found out that Nugget was a Russian Tortoise. He also found out that she was a female. However, she wasn't in very good of shape. The previous owners didn't feed her right or take care of her very well. She was small and has signs of shell rot. She was (and still is) very skittish around people. Brian got her a kiddie pool and a warming lamp, and started feeding her romaine lettuce topped with a fruit or veggies such as: carrots, apples, cantaloupe or strawberries. Her shell started to heal and she started to grow at a more normal pace.
Fast forward a few years and Brian is living with 3 of his friends in a house in Minneapolis. At the top of the stairs, outside the bedrooms and bathroom sat Nugget in her pool. This is the part of Nugget's life where she started to become an attraction. I'm not sure who came up with the idea, but the 4 guys in the house had their picture taken with Nugget. Then, some friends that came over regularly had their pictures taken with Nugget. Eventually, anyone who came into their house had to go upstairs and get their picture taken. The pictures were then posted on the walls surrounding Nugget. Some people were funny and acted like they were going to eat her. Others put her on their heads. Every once in a while you would see a picture of someone who REALLY didn't want to hold her, so you would see an arm in the picture while the person in the photo is smiling in the background. There are a lot of pictures of people we don't know but I would say the best one is from the Halloween party of the guy in the pink bunny costume. Classic.
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| Bunny Dude |
Click here to see some more of these amazing photographs. Please note that we have SO many more pictures that are not shown on this site. So if you are reading this and don't see your picture and you know you have one, please be patient. We plan to get all of them out there.
We tried to continue this once we got our own house and got married, but we just didn't keep up with it. That is something we may remedy going forward. So now comes the point in the story where I come in. Once Brian and I decided to get married, Brian told me one night that he was thinking about giving Nugget to the MN Zoo. He knew that she would live a long time and didn't want to make me have her as a pet too. I immediately got very upset at him and couldn't believe he would give her up so easily. I told him that there is no way I wanted to give her up and shame on him for even THINKING it. Well, it turns out it was a little test for me and I passed. Jerk.
So, we have a tortoise. Everyone loves to visit her and talk about her. "Hey, have you been to Brian and Gina's? They have a tortoise!" She has become a part of our lives and all of us love her. So, back to going to the visit to the vet...
Nugget's nails and beak grow because she doesn't have anything in her enclosure to wear them down on. So we have to get them trimmed. We have only done this twice in the 15 years Brian has had her so it isn't that big of a deal. The girls and I brought her in to Valley View Pet Hospital (AMAZING VET!) on Wednesday and after the vet looked her over he agreed that she is around 30 years old and is very strong. (These are good things). We started talking about her beak and what we can do to avoid coming in to get it trimmed. This included putting some grass or hay in her cage for her to chew on. He also mentioned that sometimes a beak will grow rather fast due to a liver issue that can occur. If we wanted to do blood work while she was under anesthesia to trim the beak, we could check for anything out of the ordinary. The vet wasn't overly concerned, but I told him to go ahead with the blood work and give me a call when we could pick her up.
Well, we picked her up on Thursday and test results came back Friday. Something with her liver was off. I couldn't believe it. I immediately got tears in my eyes and wondered how I was going to tell Brian. He took the news well and called the Dr. with the results.
The only way to tell what was going on was to do a biopsy and although it can be done, it really isn't recommended. (The vet would have to cut through her shell. Yikes.) Whatever was wrong could be anything from a treatable condition to cancer. We just won't know. So, the vet recommended that we treat the symptoms. A shot every other day for 5 days (I think), along with medicine in her food. He also told us that he has seen tortoises have something like this and live 10 more years. There is just no telling what is going on inside that shell and what is going to happen. Brian was also concerned about her being in pain. The vet told us that multiple studies has been done on tortoises pain tolerance and the studies come up inconclusive. There has been no way to tell that tortoises even FEEL pain.
The only way to tell what was going on was to do a biopsy and although it can be done, it really isn't recommended. (The vet would have to cut through her shell. Yikes.) Whatever was wrong could be anything from a treatable condition to cancer. We just won't know. So, the vet recommended that we treat the symptoms. A shot every other day for 5 days (I think), along with medicine in her food. He also told us that he has seen tortoises have something like this and live 10 more years. There is just no telling what is going on inside that shell and what is going to happen. Brian was also concerned about her being in pain. The vet told us that multiple studies has been done on tortoises pain tolerance and the studies come up inconclusive. There has been no way to tell that tortoises even FEEL pain.
Something you should know about me and Nugget...Brian feeds her and changes out her sand. I have a very hard time remembering that she is even in the house. It's not like she comes crawling up to me to cuddle or scratching at my leg to be let out. There are times during the winter where she doesn't eat for weeks! She isn't the most interactive pet. Don't get me wrong, I like the little bugger, but it is hard to remember we have her some days. Now, trying to come to grips with not having her in the house I feel completely devastated! I never realized how much I took her for granted. Not everyone has a pet like her in their house and I have to say I am really glad we have her.
So, as of now, I will be learning how to give Nugget a shot and just keeping everything as normal as possible for her. We will watch for signs of deterioration, but our hope is that the medicine takes care of whatever is going on with her and we can keep her in our lives for another 10 or more years.
So, as of now, I will be learning how to give Nugget a shot and just keeping everything as normal as possible for her. We will watch for signs of deterioration, but our hope is that the medicine takes care of whatever is going on with her and we can keep her in our lives for another 10 or more years.
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| Nugget |
Friday, June 24, 2011
Baby #3 Turns 1!
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| Newborn |
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| 1 Month |
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| 2 Months |
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| 3 Months |
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| 4 Months |
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| 5 Months |
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| 6 Months |
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| 7 Months |
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| 8 Months |
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| 9 Months |
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| 10 Months |
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| 11 Months |
Your during the past month or so, your tongue has been out of control. I don't know if it started when your top tooth came in, or if you just got into the habit of sticking it out, but right now it is out more than in. You spit and giggle at yourself, you smile and out comes your tongue. It is hilarious.
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| 12 Months |
Today you are one year old. My third miracle. We lost a baby right before we got pregnant with you. It was very early in the pregnancy and the doctors told us we should wait a little while before we tried again. We didn't take their advice. I think about this a lot. What if we had waited? Would we have still gotten you? Maybe I wouldn't have hemorrhaged at 11 weeks if we had waited. But then I think that every thing that happened to you and to me was because it was suppose to. I used to think that things happened for a reason. I don't believe that anymore. I do believe that was the path that was put before us and we made it through together. You and me. You will most likely be my last baby. My last pregnancy. I can't say that I'm not sad about that. I will say that I am going keep taking deep breaths and keep living in the moments that you and your sisters put before me. It has only been a year little girl, and I can't wait to see what you are going to do in the next one.
I love you always.
Mommy.
Friday, June 17, 2011
Sour Grapes!
The other night at dinner, the green grapes were quite sour. The girls made sure we knew what their sour faces looked like. I thought I would share. Enjoy!
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| Natalie's sour face |
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| Macie's sour face |
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| Evie didn't get it. |
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Baby #1 Turns 6!
On your 5th birthday I was trying to come to grips with the fact that you would be starting kindergarten in the fall. You seemed too old at the time.
By the time this picture was taken, you were half way through kindergarten and had become a big sister for the second time. You and Macie started to play outside by yourselves and love to come in for some hot chocolate to warm up before lunch.
Here you are. 6. There are not words to describe how I feel about you turning one year older. Happy, sad, amazed, proud, excited, and so many more that really don't even touch on how I truly feel.
Some things about you:
- You are an amazing big sister. You help me out all the time. Whether it is running to get me something or unbuckling your sisters in the van once we get somewhere, you are a helper. Your sisters also look to you for help and guidance. They want to be where you are. Although this can be annoying at times, they love you and I hope you see it that way one day.
- This is the first year I have gotten to stay home with you and your sisters part time. It has been great. You love going to daycare, and you tell me that you love it, but when you get to be home with me, there are many kisses, hugs and "I love you Mama"s.
- You got to be in gymnastics and soccer this year. You love gymnastics and can't wait to start up again. You also love soccer because Daddy is your coach, although you wish there wasn't so much running.
- Kindergarten has been a lot of fun for you. I have watched you learn your star words and make new friends. We hear a lot about Ella and Connor in your class (not the Connor from across the street.) You circle words you know in our church bulletins and write our names on any piece of paper you can find.
- You learned how to ride a two wheeler this year! You started off riding the little Dora bike in the basement at the end of the winter and once it was warm enough to ride outside, it just clicked. You haven't stopped since.
- You also lost two teeth so far and started to get in 4 molars. You lost your two bottom teeth and Evie just got two in! Daddy pulled your first tooth out and you were ok until you felt the hole in your mouth. You immediately started crying even though the worst part was over. We put your tooth under your pillow and the tooth fairy gave you $2. One to save or spend and one to donate. First you wanted to give your dollar to your Grandma and Grandpa, then after some talk about what donating meant, you decided to help the animals. You donated your dollar plus 4 more to the Humane Society.
- When you first meet someone, you seem very shy, but usually all it takes is for that person to ask you to play or smile at you and you open up like a book. I love watching this transformation happen in just seconds. And when it is time to go, you make sure that you give hugs to EVERYONE! People melt when you hug them.
- I know there is a lot more I can say about you, but these are the main things that come to mind right now.
I love you big girl. I wish there was some way to stop you from growing up because it makes me sad. I also know that there is a lot of fun stuff coming up and I am really excited for that. So, I will just keep writing and posting pictures so I can try and remember what you were like at this exact moment.
Love Always,
Mommy.
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Chili of the White Variety
I got this recipe from a friend of mine and I love it! You can cook the chicken in the crock pot with all the other ingredients and it shreds and falls apart beautifully, but you can also cook the chicken in the oven first, then put all the ingredients in the crock pot and cook. If you choose to cook it that way, it will only take 2-3 hours in the crock pot.
White Chicken Chili
3 or 4 chicken breasts (preferably thawed, but I have used frozen)
2 15 oz. cans of Northern Beans
1 16 oz. jar of GF salsa
1 lb Monterrey Jack cheese - cubed or shredded to melt
1 14 oz. can diced tomatoes with green chilies (Or another canned diced tomato blend that you like)
1 tbsp. GF taco sauce
Cook 4-5 hours in crock pot on medium. The longer this is able to sit, the better.
*As always check your ingredients if you are making this recipe gluten free. We use Pace salsa and Ortega taco sauce. Right now they are gluten free, but I check the labels consistently for any changes that may have been made.
White Chicken Chili
3 or 4 chicken breasts (preferably thawed, but I have used frozen)
2 15 oz. cans of Northern Beans
1 16 oz. jar of GF salsa
1 lb Monterrey Jack cheese - cubed or shredded to melt
1 14 oz. can diced tomatoes with green chilies (Or another canned diced tomato blend that you like)
1 tbsp. GF taco sauce
Cook 4-5 hours in crock pot on medium. The longer this is able to sit, the better.
*As always check your ingredients if you are making this recipe gluten free. We use Pace salsa and Ortega taco sauce. Right now they are gluten free, but I check the labels consistently for any changes that may have been made.
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Soups On!
This is so easy to make. It is what I call a "dump soup" because all you need to do is open a bunch of cans and DUMP it in the pot! It is in the regular rotation at our house all through the winter. Thanks Aunt Theresa for the recipe!
Southwest Soup
1 lb. chicken breasts (I use 3 or 4 chicken breasts - depending on how big they are, or get a rotisserie chicken and use the breast and some of the dark meat too.) Cut into bite size pieces.
1 small onion - chopped (or half of a medium onion)
4 garlic cloves
4 tablespoons olive oil
2 cans corn - drained
2 cans black beans - rinsed and drained
1 32 oz. box of chicken broth (gluten free if desired)
2 cans diced tomatoes with green chili - NOT drained
2 tsp. cumin
1 tsp. salt
1 tsp. chili powder
1/4 tsp. cayenne pepper (optional)
*This is the amount I make for my family and it is enough to have leftovers. If you would like to make a smaller batch decrease ingredients by half. It will also freeze well.
Dump all ingredients into a stock pot and heat. Eat when ready!
We like to eat this like a salsa with tortilla chips.
Southwest Soup
1 lb. chicken breasts (I use 3 or 4 chicken breasts - depending on how big they are, or get a rotisserie chicken and use the breast and some of the dark meat too.) Cut into bite size pieces.
1 small onion - chopped (or half of a medium onion)
4 garlic cloves
4 tablespoons olive oil
2 cans corn - drained
2 cans black beans - rinsed and drained
1 32 oz. box of chicken broth (gluten free if desired)
2 cans diced tomatoes with green chili - NOT drained
2 tsp. cumin
1 tsp. salt
1 tsp. chili powder
1/4 tsp. cayenne pepper (optional)
*This is the amount I make for my family and it is enough to have leftovers. If you would like to make a smaller batch decrease ingredients by half. It will also freeze well.
Dump all ingredients into a stock pot and heat. Eat when ready!
We like to eat this like a salsa with tortilla chips.
Thursday, March 24, 2011
We'll All Float On Alright
Dear Rory,
Yep. Its been about that long since I have written you a letter. You come sneaking up on me when I least expect it. I'm not sure if that is a good or a bad thing, but it definitely is a thing.
This week it was Natalie. We were at church and instead of having the prayers of the people read by one person, sometimes the congregation writes their prayers down and we bring them up to a basket at the front of the church. Sunday was one of those times. I asked Natalie if there was anyone she wanted to pray for, if she knew of anyone who was sick that she wanted to feel better. She said "Rory." I was completely caught off guard.
Her prayer went something like this (with some guidance from me):
Dear God, I hope Rory feels better now that he is up in heaven with you. Love Natalie.
Then, today Brian and I were cleaning out our room and he found a notebook with a score sheet in it. It was the last time we played "Jables" with you. Not to mention all the pictures from your funeral that we had hidden in a drawer because we couldn't look at them anymore.
Finally, in a conversation that Brian had with his aunt about music, Modest Mouse's Float On was brought up. All day it has been playing in my head. Maybe this is the next stage of my grief. Maybe it is the next stage of understanding my faith. Am I letting you go? Is God trying to heal my heart? I'm not sure about any of that. What I am sure about is that it's a damn good song.
I miss you terribly.
I love you dearly.
I'm sad you're not here.
Gina
Yep. Its been about that long since I have written you a letter. You come sneaking up on me when I least expect it. I'm not sure if that is a good or a bad thing, but it definitely is a thing.
This week it was Natalie. We were at church and instead of having the prayers of the people read by one person, sometimes the congregation writes their prayers down and we bring them up to a basket at the front of the church. Sunday was one of those times. I asked Natalie if there was anyone she wanted to pray for, if she knew of anyone who was sick that she wanted to feel better. She said "Rory." I was completely caught off guard.
Her prayer went something like this (with some guidance from me):
Dear God, I hope Rory feels better now that he is up in heaven with you. Love Natalie.
Then, today Brian and I were cleaning out our room and he found a notebook with a score sheet in it. It was the last time we played "Jables" with you. Not to mention all the pictures from your funeral that we had hidden in a drawer because we couldn't look at them anymore.
Finally, in a conversation that Brian had with his aunt about music, Modest Mouse's Float On was brought up. All day it has been playing in my head. Maybe this is the next stage of my grief. Maybe it is the next stage of understanding my faith. Am I letting you go? Is God trying to heal my heart? I'm not sure about any of that. What I am sure about is that it's a damn good song.
I miss you terribly.
I love you dearly.
I'm sad you're not here.
Gina
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Enchilada!
Are you wondering why I am posting all of these recipes? Well, let me tell you...
Brian has work wives. Yes, work wives. It isn't enough to just have me. He has not one but TWO work wives. I don't think he was looking for them. He must have a helplessness about him and some women must be drawn to that. Or, he is starting to produce estrogen. Either way, when we have a lot of left overs from dinner, Brian will bring extra a share. (Yes, he did well in kindergarten.)
On top of sharing my meals with the ladies, he proceeded to show them our Google Calendar. Each of us in the family has a color that shows up on the calendar when we have things going on. Well, there is also a dinner calendar. I plan meals for about two weeks, and buy groceries accordingly. It has taken me a LONG time to work this out, but when Natalie was diagnosed with Celiac, I had to plan more. I didn't have a choice. No more fast food or Campbell's Soup casseroles for us. There are also weeks that I don't plan because I fell off the wagon, but I try and do it because it helps us eat healthier meals.
So, the wives have wanted a couple of my recipes and I thought this was the easiest way for them as well as others to get some new dinner ideas.
This is one of Brian's favorite meals that I make. My mom used to make enchiladas using Hormel Chili instead of enchilada sauce. Imagine my surprise that while grocery shopping one day, I found sauce specifically for ENCHILADAS! However, I did not notice that the sauce came in mild and hot, and I proceeded to buy the hot. I make sure to check the label now. I adapted my mother's recipe and came up with this. Enjoy!
Enchiladas
1 lb. hamburger
2 cans refried beans
2 c. shredded cheese (I use Colby Jack, but you can use what you have in the fridge)
1 or 2 cans enchilada sauce - depending on how many you are making
2 packages of burrito size flour tortillas
lettuce
salsa or tomato or both
avocado
tortilla chips
sour cream
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Brown hamburger in large pan and drain grease. Add refried beans and 1 c. shredded cheese. Mix and warm until smooth and cheese is melted. Scoop meat/bean mixture into tortillas. I usually use a soup spoon and put two heaping spoonfuls into a tortilla and roll it up pretty snug. Continue to do this until all mixture is used. For me, this usually makes about 10-12 enchiladas.
If making 4 enchiladas:
Use one can enchilada sauce. Spray bottom of glass 8x11 or 9x13 with cooking spray. Pour small amount of sauce onto the bottom of your dish and spread around to coat. If you forget to do this, your enchiladas will stick to the bottom of your baking dish. Place 4 enchiladas into your dish and pour the rest of the enchilada sauce over the enchiladas. Cover with foil and bake for 30-40 min until sauce is bubbly. Remove from oven, take off the foil and top with 1 cup cheese. Put back into oven uncovered until cheese is melted. Serve with taco toppings. Enjoy!
BONUS!
What I love about this recipe is that sometimes I will just make the enchiladas and wrap 4-5 of them in plastic wrap and put them in the freezer. When I want to make them, I grab them out of the freezer, put them in a dish, cook and dinner is done! You can thaw them or cook them frozen. Just follow the steps above. If you are cooking them frozen, they will take 50-60 minutes.
GLUTEN FREE
I know you think I've lost my marbles saying this recipe is gluten free. Because, its not. But when we have enchiladas, what I will do, is save some of the meat/bean mixture for Natalie and spread it on corn tortillas for her and cook it on the stove top, like a quesadilla but with beans and meat instead of just cheese. I have tried using corn tortillas instead of flour for this recipe, but haven't quite mastered it yet. The corn tortillas get all cracked and crumbly. Also, be careful which enchilada sauces you are buying. Some are gluten free and some aren't.
Brian has work wives. Yes, work wives. It isn't enough to just have me. He has not one but TWO work wives. I don't think he was looking for them. He must have a helplessness about him and some women must be drawn to that. Or, he is starting to produce estrogen. Either way, when we have a lot of left overs from dinner, Brian will bring extra a share. (Yes, he did well in kindergarten.)
On top of sharing my meals with the ladies, he proceeded to show them our Google Calendar. Each of us in the family has a color that shows up on the calendar when we have things going on. Well, there is also a dinner calendar. I plan meals for about two weeks, and buy groceries accordingly. It has taken me a LONG time to work this out, but when Natalie was diagnosed with Celiac, I had to plan more. I didn't have a choice. No more fast food or Campbell's Soup casseroles for us. There are also weeks that I don't plan because I fell off the wagon, but I try and do it because it helps us eat healthier meals.
So, the wives have wanted a couple of my recipes and I thought this was the easiest way for them as well as others to get some new dinner ideas.
This is one of Brian's favorite meals that I make. My mom used to make enchiladas using Hormel Chili instead of enchilada sauce. Imagine my surprise that while grocery shopping one day, I found sauce specifically for ENCHILADAS! However, I did not notice that the sauce came in mild and hot, and I proceeded to buy the hot. I make sure to check the label now. I adapted my mother's recipe and came up with this. Enjoy!
Enchiladas
1 lb. hamburger
2 cans refried beans
2 c. shredded cheese (I use Colby Jack, but you can use what you have in the fridge)
1 or 2 cans enchilada sauce - depending on how many you are making
2 packages of burrito size flour tortillas
lettuce
salsa or tomato or both
avocado
tortilla chips
sour cream
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Brown hamburger in large pan and drain grease. Add refried beans and 1 c. shredded cheese. Mix and warm until smooth and cheese is melted. Scoop meat/bean mixture into tortillas. I usually use a soup spoon and put two heaping spoonfuls into a tortilla and roll it up pretty snug. Continue to do this until all mixture is used. For me, this usually makes about 10-12 enchiladas.
If making 4 enchiladas:
Use one can enchilada sauce. Spray bottom of glass 8x11 or 9x13 with cooking spray. Pour small amount of sauce onto the bottom of your dish and spread around to coat. If you forget to do this, your enchiladas will stick to the bottom of your baking dish. Place 4 enchiladas into your dish and pour the rest of the enchilada sauce over the enchiladas. Cover with foil and bake for 30-40 min until sauce is bubbly. Remove from oven, take off the foil and top with 1 cup cheese. Put back into oven uncovered until cheese is melted. Serve with taco toppings. Enjoy!
BONUS!
What I love about this recipe is that sometimes I will just make the enchiladas and wrap 4-5 of them in plastic wrap and put them in the freezer. When I want to make them, I grab them out of the freezer, put them in a dish, cook and dinner is done! You can thaw them or cook them frozen. Just follow the steps above. If you are cooking them frozen, they will take 50-60 minutes.
GLUTEN FREE
I know you think I've lost my marbles saying this recipe is gluten free. Because, its not. But when we have enchiladas, what I will do, is save some of the meat/bean mixture for Natalie and spread it on corn tortillas for her and cook it on the stove top, like a quesadilla but with beans and meat instead of just cheese. I have tried using corn tortillas instead of flour for this recipe, but haven't quite mastered it yet. The corn tortillas get all cracked and crumbly. Also, be careful which enchilada sauces you are buying. Some are gluten free and some aren't.
Monday, March 7, 2011
Skyrockets in flight. Mexican Delight!
One of our family favorites AND makes quite a bit, so there is always leftovers. Thanks Sarah for sharing this recipe with me.
Mexican Delight
Mexican Delight
1 lb hamburger
Onion
Salt & Pepper
1 ¼ tsp. oregano
1 ¼ tsp. sugar
1 ¼ tsp. cumin
1 small can tomato paste
1 - 15 oz can tomato sauce
¾ cup uncooked rice (makes about 1 ½ cup cooked)
Brown hamburger with onion, salt and pepper (to taste)
I don’t really measure out the onion I just put in as much as I think is a good amount, My guess is about ½ medium onion or 1 small onion
Drain grease. Add tomato paste, tomato sauce, oregano, sugar, and cumin.
Cook rice and add to tomato/meat mixture.
I put this on top of Fritos but I have used taco chips too.
Top with regular taco toppings: sour cream, cheese, salsa, lettuce and avocado.
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Baby #2 turns 4!
Here you are my love on your 3rd birthday. Wow, you look little. Still, those big, beautiful, bluish green eyes are melting my heart.
Half way through your 3rd year and I can already see a difference. You are growing up. I'm not sure if it is because by the time this picture was taken you had become a big sister, or just that each day you seem to grow an inch.
Here you are. 4 years old.
This is what I have noticed about you so far...
- You don't give your smiles to just anyone. If someone wants to get to know you, they have to work for it
- You are a string bean! I have finally told Grandma to only buy leggings or sweat pants for you. No other pants will stay up on that skinny butt of yours. Even the leggings have difficulty saying up on your hips.
- You are very strong willed and stubborn. It is a blessing and a curse my love. I am still struggling to get a handle on it - you are, in many ways, me when it comes to your personality
- You love being a sister. When Evie came along, we got to see how truly big your heart is. You are the first one to run to her when she is crying or to come and tell me that she needs something. I know you will always be there to watch out for your little sister
- Your speech has come a long way. There are still a few times where I'm not quite sure what you are saying to me, but once you slow down you are able to get your point across
- You can't wait to go to school. You see Natalie come home from school and hear her talk about her friends and her teachers. You think it is so unfair that you can't go too. Soon my dear
- There is something about your personality that I can't really explain. There have been many times in your four years where my heart is overflowing with love for you. Then, within 2 minutes you have found a way to make me angry! It's true talent
- I love that when you wake up, you want to cuddle. Its one of my favorite things ever
You are an amazing little girl Macie and I love you. Happy Birthday.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
In Their Words Wednesday
I am so behind on my posts! I fount this one and forgot to post it quite a while ago. Not very long, but still...enjoy!
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Macie: My baby is sleeping
Molly: Oh. What's your baby's name?
Macie: No, not a baby. A tuppy. (puppy)
Molly: Well, what's your puppy's name?
Macie: Tulta
Molly: Tulta?
Me: Sulsa?
Macie: Yea, Tulta!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Every once in a while Natalie will be talking to Evie and soon we will hear...
Look Mommy! She's givin me the BIG EYES!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Macie: My baby is sleeping
Molly: Oh. What's your baby's name?
Macie: No, not a baby. A tuppy. (puppy)
Molly: Well, what's your puppy's name?
Macie: Tulta
Molly: Tulta?
Me: Sulsa?
Macie: Yea, Tulta!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Every once in a while Natalie will be talking to Evie and soon we will hear...
Look Mommy! She's givin me the BIG EYES!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Sunday, November 28, 2010
COOKIES!
'Tis the season for cookies. For the second year in a row now, Amy and Joe have borrowed our kitchen to make Christmas cookies. Last year they each took a day off of work and had the house to themselves. This year, they decided to come over on Black Friday and spend the day with us. Well, they did an amazing job. Buck-eyes, melt-a-way mints, fudge, chocolate covered cherries, candied orange peel dipped in chocolate, peanut-butter kiss cookies, macaroons, Andies mint chocolate cookies, and crispy marshmallow peanut cluster cookies (which are actually called Almond bark cookies, but I like my name better.) They made a few more than that, but I either don't know the names of the cookies or forgot what else they made. Now, when I hear cookies, first I think, YUM, then I think, GLUTEN. Well, Amy and Joe made all of these cookies and of all of them, only three of them contained gluten. I just think that is awesome and this is my public way of saying "THANK YOU JOE AND AMY" for keeping Natalie in mind while cooking in our house. You are awesome. Thank you for finding gluten free flour and switching a couple of the recipes so Natalie could be included in your baking. You rock!
So Brian and I can each devour a whole plate of Buck-eyes. These are peanut butter balls dipped in chocolate. Need I say more? But the crispy marshmallow peanut clusters have become my second favorite and they are so easy. These were one of the cookies that were not gluten free because of the rice crispies, but that was easily remedied when I went to the store. Here it is! Enjoy!
Crispy Marshmallow Peanut Clusters
10.5 oz bag of Mini Marshmallows
2 lbs. Almond Bark
3 c. peanuts
6 c. rice crispies
1 c. peanut butter
In a large bowl combine marshmallows, peanuts and rice crispies in a large bowl. Cut almond bark into chunks and melt in a double boiler. Once melted and smooth, remove from heat and add peanut butter. Once peanut butter is melted into the almond bark pour over dry ingredients. Mix well and spoon onto wax paper. Allow to cool down before you try and take them off the wax paper. I put them out in the garage so they would cool down faster. Enjoy!
So Brian and I can each devour a whole plate of Buck-eyes. These are peanut butter balls dipped in chocolate. Need I say more? But the crispy marshmallow peanut clusters have become my second favorite and they are so easy. These were one of the cookies that were not gluten free because of the rice crispies, but that was easily remedied when I went to the store. Here it is! Enjoy!
Crispy Marshmallow Peanut Clusters
10.5 oz bag of Mini Marshmallows
2 lbs. Almond Bark
3 c. peanuts
6 c. rice crispies
1 c. peanut butter
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| Natalie helping with the mixing! |
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| Elena, please note the Diet Coke. I kept it in the picture just for you! |
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Popcorn Cake
We made this last night and it is so easy and very delicious!
Ingredients:
1/4 cup vegetable oil
16 cups unbuttered popped popcorn
2 cups M&M's
1 cup lightly salted peanuts
1/2 cup (1 stick) butter
2 10 oz. bags of marshmallows (mini or regular)
Grease an angel food cake pan or Bundt cake pan with oil or nonstick spray. Set aside.
In a large bowl, mix the popped corn, M&M's and peanuts.
In a saucepan, melt butter and vegetable oil over medium low heat. Add marshmallows and stir continually until marshmallows are melted. Pour over popcorn mixture.
Stir to combine.
Spoon mixture into the prepared cake pan. Using your hands or the back of a spoon, press firmly so that the mixture is compacted.
Cover with foil to keep moist. Let it sit for 3-4 hours or until firm.
To serve, invert cake pan onto a large plate or platter. You may need to go around the outside of the cake with a butter knife to help it release from the pan. Serve at room temperature.
I made this recipe in an angel food cake pan but next time I might try spooning the mixture into muffin tins for individual servings. This recipe also makes quite a bit. I would also consider cutting the recipe in half depending on what it is for. Enjoy!
Ingredients:
1/4 cup vegetable oil
16 cups unbuttered popped popcorn
2 cups M&M's
1 cup lightly salted peanuts
1/2 cup (1 stick) butter
2 10 oz. bags of marshmallows (mini or regular)
Grease an angel food cake pan or Bundt cake pan with oil or nonstick spray. Set aside.
In a large bowl, mix the popped corn, M&M's and peanuts.
In a saucepan, melt butter and vegetable oil over medium low heat. Add marshmallows and stir continually until marshmallows are melted. Pour over popcorn mixture.
Stir to combine.
Spoon mixture into the prepared cake pan. Using your hands or the back of a spoon, press firmly so that the mixture is compacted.
Cover with foil to keep moist. Let it sit for 3-4 hours or until firm.
To serve, invert cake pan onto a large plate or platter. You may need to go around the outside of the cake with a butter knife to help it release from the pan. Serve at room temperature.
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| No, this is not the cake I made. I forgot to take a picture before we devoured it. |
I made this recipe in an angel food cake pan but next time I might try spooning the mixture into muffin tins for individual servings. This recipe also makes quite a bit. I would also consider cutting the recipe in half depending on what it is for. Enjoy!
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
My Tough Girl
So when Evie arrived, Natalie and Macie immediately fell in love with her. Of course they did. She is not only gorgeous, but an amazing baby. Both girls OBVIOUSLY knew from the start that their baby sister was/is perfect.
But, like all children, they both went through transition. Natalie got a little bossier and Macie, well, she did the only thing she knew how to do well...take everything out on me.
Macie would love Evie up everyday. Tell me everything she was doing at every moment. Talk to her in a voice three octaves higher than her normal voice. Then...she would throw fits over nothing, do things she knew she shouldn't do and climb into bed EVERY SINGLE NIGHT! Brian and I had to do something.
I got my ears pierced when I was 5. So did my sisters. It was the age when my mom decided that we were old enough to have our ears pierced. So, I decided that when Natalie turned 5 in May, she could get hers pierced too. Needless to say, she wanted nothing to do with it. She knew that it would hurt and she said "NO." on her 5th birthday. So, I was a little upset, and my retort was "Well then, I'll bring Macie to get her ears pierced on your birthday!" I know, its not that mature. I didn't bring her. I'm not that mean.
But this sparked Macie's interest. She was all for getting her ears pierced. So, when Evie was born in June and Macie started acting up in July, we started a sticker chart that she could earn stickers to get her ears pierced. She could earn up to 4 stickers a day for listening to me and her dad. If she got 4 stickers a day, she would have earned all her stickers in three weeks. Of course there were little prizes here and there to keep her interested and, after about 4 weeks, Macie earned her big prize: we went and got her ears pierced.
September 3rd, 2010: This girl was amazing. She sat down. She picked out the purple earrings, of course, we got the little purple marks on her ears. I checked them to make sure they were even, which I don't think they are, and there she sat. One, two, three. Done. Not even one tear. She looked at me like it hurt, but when I told her it was over she just smiled and laughed a little. The kind of laugh where she didn't know whether to keep laughing or cry. What a tough girl.
What was Natalie doing during all this? She was hiding behind Evie's stroller. Oy.
But, like all children, they both went through transition. Natalie got a little bossier and Macie, well, she did the only thing she knew how to do well...take everything out on me.
Macie would love Evie up everyday. Tell me everything she was doing at every moment. Talk to her in a voice three octaves higher than her normal voice. Then...she would throw fits over nothing, do things she knew she shouldn't do and climb into bed EVERY SINGLE NIGHT! Brian and I had to do something.
I got my ears pierced when I was 5. So did my sisters. It was the age when my mom decided that we were old enough to have our ears pierced. So, I decided that when Natalie turned 5 in May, she could get hers pierced too. Needless to say, she wanted nothing to do with it. She knew that it would hurt and she said "NO." on her 5th birthday. So, I was a little upset, and my retort was "Well then, I'll bring Macie to get her ears pierced on your birthday!" I know, its not that mature. I didn't bring her. I'm not that mean.
But this sparked Macie's interest. She was all for getting her ears pierced. So, when Evie was born in June and Macie started acting up in July, we started a sticker chart that she could earn stickers to get her ears pierced. She could earn up to 4 stickers a day for listening to me and her dad. If she got 4 stickers a day, she would have earned all her stickers in three weeks. Of course there were little prizes here and there to keep her interested and, after about 4 weeks, Macie earned her big prize: we went and got her ears pierced.
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| Purple Ears Pierced! |
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| So Proud |
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| Me and My Little Girls |
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
In Their Words Wednesday
Goodness. I do love my kids.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
While eating dinner, Macie went to touch something close to or on Natalie's plate.
Natalie: MACIE! Don't touch my food with your gluten fingers!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Natalie: Mom, this is how I talk to Evie in my polite voice...
(her voice gets 2 octaves higher) Hi! Hi Evie! Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Me: What did you do at free-choice today?
Natalie: Played Leap Frog. But Mom, they weren't real frogs cause if they were, they would be peein' and jumpin' all OVER the place!
Thanks for the visual.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
While we were laying in bed one morning, Macie bonked her head on the wall.
Macie: Ow. That tickled Mamma!
Me: It did?
Macie: Yea. But Mamma, when I say it tickled, it actually hurt. I just joking when I say that.
Me: Oh. Ok. I'm glad you understand the difference. :)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A few times this week I have gotten to observe Brian and Evie adore each other. Brian lays on the ground puts her next to him. She lays there and simply stares at him. Most of the time she smiles then every once in a while you will hear a soft coo and she starts to pant, kick and flail her arms wildly. They are so deeply in love with each other. I'm sure I will never see a more beautiful sight than this.
Insert tears. ;)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
While eating dinner, Macie went to touch something close to or on Natalie's plate.
Natalie: MACIE! Don't touch my food with your gluten fingers!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Natalie: Mom, this is how I talk to Evie in my polite voice...
(her voice gets 2 octaves higher) Hi! Hi Evie! Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Me: What did you do at free-choice today?
Natalie: Played Leap Frog. But Mom, they weren't real frogs cause if they were, they would be peein' and jumpin' all OVER the place!
Thanks for the visual.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
While we were laying in bed one morning, Macie bonked her head on the wall.
Macie: Ow. That tickled Mamma!
Me: It did?
Macie: Yea. But Mamma, when I say it tickled, it actually hurt. I just joking when I say that.
Me: Oh. Ok. I'm glad you understand the difference. :)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A few times this week I have gotten to observe Brian and Evie adore each other. Brian lays on the ground puts her next to him. She lays there and simply stares at him. Most of the time she smiles then every once in a while you will hear a soft coo and she starts to pant, kick and flail her arms wildly. They are so deeply in love with each other. I'm sure I will never see a more beautiful sight than this.
Insert tears. ;)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
In Their Words Wednesday - a day early
So this is coming on Tuesday because I keep forgetting to post it.
Recently our niece spent the night at our house. Man is she funny!
In the car on the way back from Beth's house:
Hailey: Gina, you drive fast. My mom drives slow.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
While looking at our book shelf in the living room:
Hailey: Wow! You guys have a lot of Jesus books!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Natalie: Macie, did it hurt when you got your ears pierced?
Macie: No.
Natalie: Did it tickle?
Macie: Yup!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Me: Natalie, guess who called me on the phone the other day?
Natalie: Who?
Me: Nick Jonas!
Natalie: Fo' Real!?!?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Recently our niece spent the night at our house. Man is she funny!
In the car on the way back from Beth's house:
Hailey: Gina, you drive fast. My mom drives slow.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
While looking at our book shelf in the living room:
Hailey: Wow! You guys have a lot of Jesus books!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Natalie: Macie, did it hurt when you got your ears pierced?
Macie: No.
Natalie: Did it tickle?
Macie: Yup!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Me: Natalie, guess who called me on the phone the other day?
Natalie: Who?
Me: Nick Jonas!
Natalie: Fo' Real!?!?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Friday, September 17, 2010
Peter Piper
So every once in a while I come across a recipe that goes over well with my family. Here is one of them.
I started searching for a recipe when we got a bunch of peppers from some friends. These friends of ours have a garden and have been so kind to share what their garden has produced this season. Tomatoes, jalapeños, banana peppers, green beans, zucchini, squash...seriously, its been awesome. The last time we saw them they gave us a bunch of peppers, so I got inspired. I am not a huge pepper fan but my family is, so I went searching for a stuffed pepper recipe that looked tasty and that was gluten free. After looking at many, I combined a bunch of them and this is what I came up with. Give it a try and see what you think!
Sausage Stuffed Peppers
6 medium red or green bell peppers, cleaned and cored
1/2 lb sausage
1 tablespoon extra virgin olive oil
1/2 medium onion
2-3 cloves of garlic, minced
1 can diced tomatos (I used a roasted garlic and onion)
1 cup uncooked rice
1/4 cup freshly grated parmigiano reggiano
1 tablespoon freshly chopped basil
1 teaspoon freshly chopped oregano
Salt and pepper to taste
4 slices mozzarella cheese (or 2 cups shredded)
Bring a large pot of salted water to a boil. Cut the tops off the peppers, and remove the seeds. Cook peppers in boiling water for 4-5 minutes; drain. Sprinkle salt inside each pepper, and set aside.
Preheat your oven to 400 degrees. Grease a baking dish and set your cleaned and cored peppers inside of it. Use balls of tinfoil to prop them up if you have trouble making them sit correctly.
Cook rice as directed and put into a large mixing bowl.
In a large pan over medium-high heat, brown the sausage. Drain grease and put browned sausage in the mixing bowl with the rice.
Add the olive oil to the pan, and add the onions, and garlic. Cook over medium-high heat for about 4-5 minutes, until the onions are tender. Add the can of tomatoes and heat through. Pour into bowl with rice and sausage. Add parmigaiano reggiano and herbs and stir to combine. Adjust seasonings to taste with salt and pepper.
Fill the peppers with the sausage-and-rice mixture. Bake in your preheated 350 degree oven for 15-20 minutes, until stuffing is bubbly. Top with mozzarella and return to oven until cheese is melted (you may want to turn on the broiler for this.) Enjoy!
I started searching for a recipe when we got a bunch of peppers from some friends. These friends of ours have a garden and have been so kind to share what their garden has produced this season. Tomatoes, jalapeños, banana peppers, green beans, zucchini, squash...seriously, its been awesome. The last time we saw them they gave us a bunch of peppers, so I got inspired. I am not a huge pepper fan but my family is, so I went searching for a stuffed pepper recipe that looked tasty and that was gluten free. After looking at many, I combined a bunch of them and this is what I came up with. Give it a try and see what you think!
Sausage Stuffed Peppers
6 medium red or green bell peppers, cleaned and cored
1/2 lb sausage
1 tablespoon extra virgin olive oil
1/2 medium onion
2-3 cloves of garlic, minced
1 can diced tomatos (I used a roasted garlic and onion)
1 cup uncooked rice
1/4 cup freshly grated parmigiano reggiano
1 tablespoon freshly chopped basil
1 teaspoon freshly chopped oregano
Salt and pepper to taste
4 slices mozzarella cheese (or 2 cups shredded)
Bring a large pot of salted water to a boil. Cut the tops off the peppers, and remove the seeds. Cook peppers in boiling water for 4-5 minutes; drain. Sprinkle salt inside each pepper, and set aside.
Preheat your oven to 400 degrees. Grease a baking dish and set your cleaned and cored peppers inside of it. Use balls of tinfoil to prop them up if you have trouble making them sit correctly.
Cook rice as directed and put into a large mixing bowl.
In a large pan over medium-high heat, brown the sausage. Drain grease and put browned sausage in the mixing bowl with the rice.
Add the olive oil to the pan, and add the onions, and garlic. Cook over medium-high heat for about 4-5 minutes, until the onions are tender. Add the can of tomatoes and heat through. Pour into bowl with rice and sausage. Add parmigaiano reggiano and herbs and stir to combine. Adjust seasonings to taste with salt and pepper.
Fill the peppers with the sausage-and-rice mixture. Bake in your preheated 350 degree oven for 15-20 minutes, until stuffing is bubbly. Top with mozzarella and return to oven until cheese is melted (you may want to turn on the broiler for this.) Enjoy!
Friday, August 13, 2010
All the Live Long Day
Dear Rory,
I feel the need to write to you when big events happen in my life. Brian and I welcomed our third daughter, Evie, into our lives on June 24th. As much as I want to believe that you already know this and were there in many ways; it is because you were not there to see her, hold her and hug Brian and I, I experience loss all over again. I will tell you that for a long time Brian and I talked about naming this child Rory. If the baby was a boy we wanted to incorporate your name in his middle name. If the baby was a girl, we thought a lot about calling her Rory. Ultimately I couldn't do it. Even though it has been almost three years since your death, it still feels too new and continues to be painful for me to think about.
Brian was back at Como recently and went down to go to the tracks. He wanted to see where you ended your life and have an image of what it looked like there. He made the decision not to tell me he was going. After your death, when he first mentioned that he wanted to go there, I was insistent on wanting someone to be there with him. But, I see now that it was something he needed to do alone. The weekend after he visited the tracks, the guys got together for a game at Target Field and came to our house for Strato on Sunday; Shane was even in town so it was just like how it used to be. It was so fun to have all the guys at the house again. But, all the while, there was an underlying sadness that kept tugging at me...Rory should be here.
My sadness was different this time. I didn't cry. Even though this sadness has continued, the tears haven't come. Grief continues to surprise me. I'm not so naive to think that they won't return, but I haven't missed them, and for now, I won't think about it.
Another thought I had this past week was I don't think that I ever told you that I loved you. You wouldn't have believed me, and my guess is that you would have made some joke or diversion to get around the sincerity of it, but it crossed my mind. So, I will tell you now for my own peace of mind and heart.
I will miss you forever.
I will love you always.
Gina
I feel the need to write to you when big events happen in my life. Brian and I welcomed our third daughter, Evie, into our lives on June 24th. As much as I want to believe that you already know this and were there in many ways; it is because you were not there to see her, hold her and hug Brian and I, I experience loss all over again. I will tell you that for a long time Brian and I talked about naming this child Rory. If the baby was a boy we wanted to incorporate your name in his middle name. If the baby was a girl, we thought a lot about calling her Rory. Ultimately I couldn't do it. Even though it has been almost three years since your death, it still feels too new and continues to be painful for me to think about.
Brian was back at Como recently and went down to go to the tracks. He wanted to see where you ended your life and have an image of what it looked like there. He made the decision not to tell me he was going. After your death, when he first mentioned that he wanted to go there, I was insistent on wanting someone to be there with him. But, I see now that it was something he needed to do alone. The weekend after he visited the tracks, the guys got together for a game at Target Field and came to our house for Strato on Sunday; Shane was even in town so it was just like how it used to be. It was so fun to have all the guys at the house again. But, all the while, there was an underlying sadness that kept tugging at me...Rory should be here.
My sadness was different this time. I didn't cry. Even though this sadness has continued, the tears haven't come. Grief continues to surprise me. I'm not so naive to think that they won't return, but I haven't missed them, and for now, I won't think about it.
Another thought I had this past week was I don't think that I ever told you that I loved you. You wouldn't have believed me, and my guess is that you would have made some joke or diversion to get around the sincerity of it, but it crossed my mind. So, I will tell you now for my own peace of mind and heart.
I will miss you forever.
I will love you always.
Gina
Monday, August 9, 2010
June 24th, 2010
Evie Marie Stangl
Born: June 24th, 2010 at 4:15 p.m.
6 lbs. 7 oz.
19 1/4 in.
Dear Evie,
You are finally here and all of us are so glad! However getting you into this world was quite a process, but what labor isn't? I want to write this down so that you know and so that I don't forget, so here goes...
Saturday, June 19th, 2010
Natalie and Macie were spending the weekend with Grandma and Papa so Mommy and Daddy could get some much needed rest. Every day towards the end of your pregnancy was tiring and by 6pm every night I was in the tub to relax then to the couch to rest. We spent Saturday outside with friends at a crayfish boil. The weather was beautiful and I even managed to get a little sun. Daddy and I got home and as we started to get ready for bed, I noticed that I started to have some contractions. They weren't very painful but I could definitely tell something was going on. So, off we headed to the hospital.
I was having contractions, but they weren't very strong, so the Dr. on call decided to give me something to stop the contractions and by 10:00 am we were headed home.
Sunday, June 20th, 2010
Sunday was very uneventful. We spent the day resting and your sisters came home from Grandma and Papa's house. All of us were getting very impatient to meet you!
Monday, June 21st, 2010
Natalie and Macie headed to daycare and I spent the day resting. Around dinner time, I started to not feel very good...again. This time, my contractions were much more painful than two nights ago, but they were only coming every 20 minutes or so. As the hours passed, I continued to contract but nothing was very consistent. By 1:00 am, we decided to call the Dr. and he recommended that once my contractions reached 5 minutes apart, to head to the hospital. Of course, once I got off the phone, they stopped. Arg.
Tuesday, June 22nd, 2010
Daddy took the day off of work to go to the Dr. with me. We had been up most of the night wondering if tonight was the night you were going to make your grand entrance, so needless to say, we were both pretty tired. We saw the Dr. and she told me that I was 4-5 cm dilated and to continue to wait it out. This, of course, put me into tears because I so badly wanted to be done being pregnant and anxious to meet you. They sent me home to rest and relax. She also reminded me that the longer you stayed in my tummy, the better it was for health reasons. So, the waiting continued.
Wednesday, June 23rd, 2010
I was having contractions, but they weren't very strong, so the Dr. on call decided to give me something to stop the contractions and by 10:00 am we were headed home.
Sunday, June 20th, 2010
Sunday was very uneventful. We spent the day resting and your sisters came home from Grandma and Papa's house. All of us were getting very impatient to meet you!
Monday, June 21st, 2010
Natalie and Macie headed to daycare and I spent the day resting. Around dinner time, I started to not feel very good...again. This time, my contractions were much more painful than two nights ago, but they were only coming every 20 minutes or so. As the hours passed, I continued to contract but nothing was very consistent. By 1:00 am, we decided to call the Dr. and he recommended that once my contractions reached 5 minutes apart, to head to the hospital. Of course, once I got off the phone, they stopped. Arg.
Tuesday, June 22nd, 2010
Daddy took the day off of work to go to the Dr. with me. We had been up most of the night wondering if tonight was the night you were going to make your grand entrance, so needless to say, we were both pretty tired. We saw the Dr. and she told me that I was 4-5 cm dilated and to continue to wait it out. This, of course, put me into tears because I so badly wanted to be done being pregnant and anxious to meet you. They sent me home to rest and relax. She also reminded me that the longer you stayed in my tummy, the better it was for health reasons. So, the waiting continued.
Wednesday, June 23rd, 2010
The day was pretty uneventful but once dinner time rolled around, the contractions started again. This time, they were close together and painful. I didn't want to go to the hospital, but Daddy insisted. We called Grandma to come and watch your sisters and off we went. The nurses put me in a room and monitored me for a while and yes, I was definitely in labor, however I was still not 37 weeks; I was 36 weeks 5 days. We walked the halls trying to progress labor but by 11:00 pm, everything had stopped...again. We didn't know what was going to happen. At that point, I just wanted to go home. However, that was not suggested and we decided to stay. I was still at 5 cm and the Dr. on call to give me an oral medication and a shot of morphine to help me sleep through the night. I was nervous about the morphine since I had never taken it, but finally made the decision to put my trust in the Drs. and nurses taking care of me and do what they thought was best. I have to say, that was the best decision we made. I got a wonderful night of sleep.
Thursday, June 24th, 2010
I woke up at 5:15 am and had the nurse check on me and when asked if I could sleep more, I said "Yes!" so, that's what I did. I woke up at 7:30 am ready for whatever they were going to tell me. My new nurse was Jan, a nurse that I had had for both of your sisters and is one of the most amazing people I have come into contact with in my life so far. She is amazing and loves her job. After checking my cervix she reassured me that, no, I wasn't going home. After she told me that, I was ready to name you Jan.
The rest of the day was pretty uneventful. I wasn't in as much pain and did some more walking to see if I could move things along. I went from a 5 to a 5 1/2 but it was enough for my Dr. to give permission for an epidural and pitocin. Jan had to help with another labor so she introduced us to Jessica. Again, another amazing woman. We waited for the pitocin to start to work and after an hour or so, a resident came in to break my water.
~Sidenote~ I love watching nurses teach residents what to do!
I still was not making a lot of progress and Jessica noticed that the resident may not have broken my water like she thought she did, so Jessica gave it a shot. She definitely accomplished the task. Not long after that I was fully dilated and my Dr. was called. Jessica suggested that I start to push you out so that when the Dr. arrived she would just have to catch. We went through a couple of rounds of pushing and after 3 or 4 rounds Jessica says "Ok, I want you to push one more time, but I may you stop depending on how close the baby is to crowning...OK STOP! We are going to wait now." It's a good thing I had an epidural, otherwise there would have been no stopping!
My Dr. came through the door minutes later panting! She was stuck in detours and construction and I am pretty sure she ran as soon as she parked her car. Once she was ready, I pushed and not long after, out you came. It was such an amazing moment for all of us in the room. Our Dr. who had been with us through all the scary parts of the pregnancy, Jessica who had helped us through out most of my labor during the day and Daddy and I.
The Dr. held you up and immediately I started to laugh and cry all at the same time. I was so excited that you were a girl. You completed our family and had fought your way to be with us. You were placed on my chest and Daddy and I couldn't stop giggling and crying. As I looked at my Dr., she was smiling and crying with us. What an amazing person. There was no hurry to take you away from me. I cleaned you off and kissed you, and Daddy named you Evie. What a perfect little girl you were the moment you breathed your first breath.
As soon as I could I called Grandma and she put Natalie on the phone...
Natalie: Hi Momma! Are you coming home?
Me: Soon honey...Mommy had the baby.
Natalie: You had the baby!?!?
Me: Yea! You have another baby sister.
Natalie: (big inhaled breath) MACIE WE HAVE A BABY SISTER!
The sound of her excitement still replays in my head when I watch her with you.
Evie, we didn't know if you would make it to us safe. On the day you arrived it was one of the happiest days of our lives. We love you so much and can't wait to watch you grow and see what kind of person you are going to become.
I love you always.
Mommy
Thursday, June 24th, 2010
I woke up at 5:15 am and had the nurse check on me and when asked if I could sleep more, I said "Yes!" so, that's what I did. I woke up at 7:30 am ready for whatever they were going to tell me. My new nurse was Jan, a nurse that I had had for both of your sisters and is one of the most amazing people I have come into contact with in my life so far. She is amazing and loves her job. After checking my cervix she reassured me that, no, I wasn't going home. After she told me that, I was ready to name you Jan.
The rest of the day was pretty uneventful. I wasn't in as much pain and did some more walking to see if I could move things along. I went from a 5 to a 5 1/2 but it was enough for my Dr. to give permission for an epidural and pitocin. Jan had to help with another labor so she introduced us to Jessica. Again, another amazing woman. We waited for the pitocin to start to work and after an hour or so, a resident came in to break my water.
~Sidenote~ I love watching nurses teach residents what to do!
I still was not making a lot of progress and Jessica noticed that the resident may not have broken my water like she thought she did, so Jessica gave it a shot. She definitely accomplished the task. Not long after that I was fully dilated and my Dr. was called. Jessica suggested that I start to push you out so that when the Dr. arrived she would just have to catch. We went through a couple of rounds of pushing and after 3 or 4 rounds Jessica says "Ok, I want you to push one more time, but I may you stop depending on how close the baby is to crowning...OK STOP! We are going to wait now." It's a good thing I had an epidural, otherwise there would have been no stopping!
My Dr. came through the door minutes later panting! She was stuck in detours and construction and I am pretty sure she ran as soon as she parked her car. Once she was ready, I pushed and not long after, out you came. It was such an amazing moment for all of us in the room. Our Dr. who had been with us through all the scary parts of the pregnancy, Jessica who had helped us through out most of my labor during the day and Daddy and I.
The Dr. held you up and immediately I started to laugh and cry all at the same time. I was so excited that you were a girl. You completed our family and had fought your way to be with us. You were placed on my chest and Daddy and I couldn't stop giggling and crying. As I looked at my Dr., she was smiling and crying with us. What an amazing person. There was no hurry to take you away from me. I cleaned you off and kissed you, and Daddy named you Evie. What a perfect little girl you were the moment you breathed your first breath.
As soon as I could I called Grandma and she put Natalie on the phone...
Natalie: Hi Momma! Are you coming home?
Me: Soon honey...Mommy had the baby.
Natalie: You had the baby!?!?
Me: Yea! You have another baby sister.
Natalie: (big inhaled breath) MACIE WE HAVE A BABY SISTER!
The sound of her excitement still replays in my head when I watch her with you.
Evie, we didn't know if you would make it to us safe. On the day you arrived it was one of the happiest days of our lives. We love you so much and can't wait to watch you grow and see what kind of person you are going to become.
I love you always.
Mommy
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
In Their Words Wednesday
Some funny things the girls have been saying!
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Macie: You ok Mamma?
Me: Yup. My tummy just hurts a little.
Macie: The baby hurting you?
Me: Yea, a little.
Macie: Oh nuts!
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We were in the van driving somewhere and Jason Derulo's "In My Head" song came on the radio. A few minutes after it was over...
Natalie: Mom, I was jammin to that last song. You know, the "goin down in my head" song. I really like it.
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Al had taken the girls on a walk and they came across a retaining wall. Both girls climbed up and proceeded to jump off of different levels of the wall. Natalie continued to get higher and higher and after each time she jumped off made the statement: "That's what I'm talkin' about!"
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Me: You are my baby.
Macie: No I'm not!
Me: Yes you are. You will always be my baby!
Macie: No! I'm Daddy's baby!"
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Macie: You ok Mamma?
Me: Yup. My tummy just hurts a little.
Macie: The baby hurting you?
Me: Yea, a little.
Macie: Oh nuts!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
We were in the van driving somewhere and Jason Derulo's "In My Head" song came on the radio. A few minutes after it was over...
Natalie: Mom, I was jammin to that last song. You know, the "goin down in my head" song. I really like it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Al had taken the girls on a walk and they came across a retaining wall. Both girls climbed up and proceeded to jump off of different levels of the wall. Natalie continued to get higher and higher and after each time she jumped off made the statement: "That's what I'm talkin' about!"
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Me: You are my baby.
Macie: No I'm not!
Me: Yes you are. You will always be my baby!
Macie: No! I'm Daddy's baby!"
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Monday, June 14, 2010
Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known. ~Carl Sagan
Dear Baby,
I sit here and continue to wait for your arrival. Will it really take 32 more days until I get to meet you? Will it take less? more? You are still very active in my belly; continuing to toss and turn whenever I am still. My body tries to make room for you and you have no problems pushing whatever you want out of the way.
I am so curious to meet you. First of all, are you a boy or a girl? Through the beginning part of this pregnancy, there was no question in my mind that you are our third and final girl. But the more active you became, both Daddy and I agreed you must be a boy! Now, I'm just not sure. I don't have a feeling either way about your gender but I do know that you are a fighter. From the beginning you have been a fighter and it is something I already love about you.
Second, your name. This has been very hard for Daddy and I. I have given up and left it up to your Dad. I think he has it down to two girl names and two boy names but I think we will still have to spend some time with you before we pick one out. As we searched for names that we liked, we found many, but none that we were absolutely in love with. We didn't even disagree about names. Everything was just Ok. We don't want something too popular or anything that can be spelled 12 different ways. Papa Snyder insists on calling you Vince whether you are a boy OR a girl and Grandma Snyder likes Ronnie (Veronica) or Hannah if you are a girl. Natalie decided a while ago that if you are a boy you should be named Hent, Tent or Trent, and if you are a girl, Sparkle. We will just have to see I guess.
Third, I can't wait for you to meet your sisters. Natalie loves to feel you move around in my belly. She thinks that you are going to be a boy even though she would be ok if she got another sister. She is always coming up to me and asking "Is the baby moving Mamma?" or "I feel something hard right there! What is that?" She can't wait to hold you, take care of you and make you laugh. She is already such a good big sister to Macie. Even though I know she wasn't too thrilled on having another sibling in the first place, I think she is pretty excited now.
Macie has not been very interested in you until about two weeks ago. She thinks you are going to be a girl. She also has started to touch my belly a lot and insists on kissing and hugging my belly, saying goodbye when I drop her off at daycare and goodnight to you when I tuck her into bed. She asks "Is the baby coming out now?", "Does the baby hurt you Mamma?" and "I want to hold her!" It is so hard for her to wait. I think Macie is going to be my biggest helper once you come. She is not as interactive with other babies we are around, but has to make sure that they have toys, snacks, their cup, whatever is needed to keep them happy. She can't wait to be a big sister.
Fourth, I can't wait for you to meet your Daddy. He is amazing. It took him a little longer to know if he wanted you or not, but I think in his heart he knew you would always be a part of our lives. Many people seem to think that just because we have had two girls already, that we wanted to have a third to try for a boy. But to tell you the truth, we wanted a third CHILD. Boy or girl makes no difference to us. We didn't decide to have children to have a specific gender. We just wanted kids. Daddy loves babies and I can't wait for him to hold you, swaddle you (he is a master at this) and brag about you just like he does about the girls. Even though you are our third, I feel as if he may be more of a baby hog with you. I don't really know why, it is just a feeling I have.
So, I will continue to wait little one. I will tell you to take your time, but as each day passes it is getting harder and harder to be patient. I will continue to count the days.
I love you.
Mamma
I sit here and continue to wait for your arrival. Will it really take 32 more days until I get to meet you? Will it take less? more? You are still very active in my belly; continuing to toss and turn whenever I am still. My body tries to make room for you and you have no problems pushing whatever you want out of the way.
I am so curious to meet you. First of all, are you a boy or a girl? Through the beginning part of this pregnancy, there was no question in my mind that you are our third and final girl. But the more active you became, both Daddy and I agreed you must be a boy! Now, I'm just not sure. I don't have a feeling either way about your gender but I do know that you are a fighter. From the beginning you have been a fighter and it is something I already love about you.
Second, your name. This has been very hard for Daddy and I. I have given up and left it up to your Dad. I think he has it down to two girl names and two boy names but I think we will still have to spend some time with you before we pick one out. As we searched for names that we liked, we found many, but none that we were absolutely in love with. We didn't even disagree about names. Everything was just Ok. We don't want something too popular or anything that can be spelled 12 different ways. Papa Snyder insists on calling you Vince whether you are a boy OR a girl and Grandma Snyder likes Ronnie (Veronica) or Hannah if you are a girl. Natalie decided a while ago that if you are a boy you should be named Hent, Tent or Trent, and if you are a girl, Sparkle. We will just have to see I guess.
Third, I can't wait for you to meet your sisters. Natalie loves to feel you move around in my belly. She thinks that you are going to be a boy even though she would be ok if she got another sister. She is always coming up to me and asking "Is the baby moving Mamma?" or "I feel something hard right there! What is that?" She can't wait to hold you, take care of you and make you laugh. She is already such a good big sister to Macie. Even though I know she wasn't too thrilled on having another sibling in the first place, I think she is pretty excited now.
Macie has not been very interested in you until about two weeks ago. She thinks you are going to be a girl. She also has started to touch my belly a lot and insists on kissing and hugging my belly, saying goodbye when I drop her off at daycare and goodnight to you when I tuck her into bed. She asks "Is the baby coming out now?", "Does the baby hurt you Mamma?" and "I want to hold her!" It is so hard for her to wait. I think Macie is going to be my biggest helper once you come. She is not as interactive with other babies we are around, but has to make sure that they have toys, snacks, their cup, whatever is needed to keep them happy. She can't wait to be a big sister.
Fourth, I can't wait for you to meet your Daddy. He is amazing. It took him a little longer to know if he wanted you or not, but I think in his heart he knew you would always be a part of our lives. Many people seem to think that just because we have had two girls already, that we wanted to have a third to try for a boy. But to tell you the truth, we wanted a third CHILD. Boy or girl makes no difference to us. We didn't decide to have children to have a specific gender. We just wanted kids. Daddy loves babies and I can't wait for him to hold you, swaddle you (he is a master at this) and brag about you just like he does about the girls. Even though you are our third, I feel as if he may be more of a baby hog with you. I don't really know why, it is just a feeling I have.
So, I will continue to wait little one. I will tell you to take your time, but as each day passes it is getting harder and harder to be patient. I will continue to count the days.
I love you.
Mamma
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
In Their Words Wednesday
This is from the last two weeks. It isn't a lot, but I have been wanting to get it out there. Hopefully I can keep it up Elena. Enjoy!
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Brian:What do you think about that Nattie?
Natalie: Daddy, I like Natalie better. Some people call me Nattie, but I like Natalie the best.
Brian: But I can still call you Nattie, right?
Natalie: Yea, but I still like Natalie the best.
Ok, I guess she has an opinion about her name.
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Brian: Where did this rain come from?!?!
Macie: I don't know.
Natalie: Rainclouds.
Brian: Thank you Captain Obvious.
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Natalie: Dad, I took the binder out of Ariel Princess's hair (her Barbie doll) and it was OUT OF CONTROL!
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Brian:What do you think about that Nattie?
Natalie: Daddy, I like Natalie better. Some people call me Nattie, but I like Natalie the best.
Brian: But I can still call you Nattie, right?
Natalie: Yea, but I still like Natalie the best.
Ok, I guess she has an opinion about her name.
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Brian: Where did this rain come from?!?!
Macie: I don't know.
Natalie: Rainclouds.
Brian: Thank you Captain Obvious.
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Natalie: Dad, I took the binder out of Ariel Princess's hair (her Barbie doll) and it was OUT OF CONTROL!
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Wednesday, May 19, 2010
In Their Words Wednesday
Ok Elena. I'm gonna give this a try and hopefully I will be able to keep it up! There is only a few, but I think I have to just tune in a little more to what the girls are saying. Most of the time they are pretty funny, but I am so used to the quirky things they say, that I don't realize they are funny until someone comes over, hears their conversations or has a conversation with them, and starts to laugh.
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Natalie: Mom! Look at my toe!
Me: What? What happened...
Natalie: It's bleeding.
Me: Oh. Why?
Natalie: I don't know. I stubbed it on something sharp. (with a "duh" look on her face)
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While eating grapes at the table, Macie takes a bunch that are still on the vine. As she is picking them off of the vine, one of the stems comes off with the grape.
She looks at the grape and says: "What the..."
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Brian picked up the girls from daycare and on their way to a park the Ke$ha song "Your Love is My Drug" song came on. I hate Ke$ha, but this song so catchy to me, so when it comes on, me and the girls rock out. Brian hates the song but decided to leave it on.
When it was done Natalie said: Daddy, my favorite part of the song is when she says "crack head." It's funny!
My influence is not so good on the girls apparently.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Natalie: Mom! Look at my toe!
Me: What? What happened...
Natalie: It's bleeding.
Me: Oh. Why?
Natalie: I don't know. I stubbed it on something sharp. (with a "duh" look on her face)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
While eating grapes at the table, Macie takes a bunch that are still on the vine. As she is picking them off of the vine, one of the stems comes off with the grape.
She looks at the grape and says: "What the..."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Brian picked up the girls from daycare and on their way to a park the Ke$ha song "Your Love is My Drug" song came on. I hate Ke$ha, but this song so catchy to me, so when it comes on, me and the girls rock out. Brian hates the song but decided to leave it on.
When it was done Natalie said: Daddy, my favorite part of the song is when she says "crack head." It's funny!
My influence is not so good on the girls apparently.
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Saturday, May 15, 2010
What can Gluten do for you?
On Friday, a second grade teacher came to me with an interesting question. So interesting, I had to write about it. She came to me because she has a boy in her class that was diagnosed with Celiac Disease this year. Her question: Do you know if going on a gluten free diet can affect behavior in a negative way?
Huh. Let me think about that.
This boy, before he was diagnosed, was a pretty average second grade boy with really no behavior problems in the classroom. He is a bright student and able finish whatever work he was handed. Now, it seems, he has a hard time focusing and can't get work done in the classroom. It's like he has TOO much energy.
This is my understanding of a gluten free (GF) diet:
- If you are diagnosed with Celiac Disease treatment is a gluten free diet - nothing made from wheat, barley or rye. Period. It is not something you can grow out of.
- It is not an allergy. It is an intolerance.
- A gluten free diet is a very healthy way of living. You want to loose weight - go GF. I swear you will see the pounds melt off. You want to lose more? Cut out lactose too.
- Many parents of children with autism or ADD/ADHD may try a GF diet instead of medication. The thought here is (I think, please don't quote me) that our bodies use energy to digest food. Gluten is a difficult protein for our intestinal systems to process and uses a lot of energy. Some of us have no issues, while others may. Take gluten out of a child's diet and their bodies are able to use that energy, that used to be used on digestion, on other things such as focusing and brain function
So, back to my teacher friend. I got to thinking about her question and her second grader. This child had been ill for a while. His body "bogged" down with gluten and unable to process it. Since going GF, he feels great and almost has extra energy. His body almost feels too good; if that is even possible. His system worked so hard for so long that he may have just been too tired to focus on anything else, therefore portraying him as a mild mannered kid. Now, its like he is looking at the world through new eyes. As his teacher says it is almost as if he is over stimulated.
This whole situation was SO interesting to me. Everything I have written above is completely my opinion. The bulleted points are things that I have learned over the years and what I understand about the disease.
On that note, Twin Cities R.O.C.K. had their 9th annual Celiac Walk in Victoria, MN. It was the biggest turnout yet with 1,300 people participating and over $46,000 raised. Natalie loves to go and we get loads of free information and samples. It was great.
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