We'll All Float On Alright

Dear Rory,

Yep. Its been about that long since I have written you a letter. You come sneaking up on me when I least expect it. I'm not sure if that is a good or a bad thing, but it definitely is a thing.

This week it was Natalie. We were at church and instead of having the prayers of the people read by one person, sometimes the congregation writes their prayers down and we bring them up to a basket at the front of the church. Sunday was one of those times. I asked Natalie if there was anyone she wanted to pray for, if she knew of anyone who was sick that she wanted to feel better. She said "Rory." I was completely caught off guard.

Her prayer went something like this (with some guidance from me):
Dear God, I hope Rory feels better now that he is up in heaven with you. Love Natalie.

Then, today Brian and I were cleaning out our room and he found a notebook with a score sheet in it. It was the last time we played "Jables" with you. Not to mention all the pictures from your funeral that we had hidden in a drawer because we couldn't look at them anymore.

Finally, in a conversation that Brian had with his aunt about music, Modest Mouse's Float On was brought up. All day it has been playing in my head. Maybe this is the next stage of my grief. Maybe it is the next stage of understanding my faith. Am I letting you go?  Is God trying to heal my heart? I'm not sure about any of that. What I am sure about is that it's a damn good song.

I miss you terribly.
I love you dearly.
I'm sad you're not here.
Gina