Baby #2 Turns 8!

Sassy pants ready for Easter. 

Lovely.

Here you are. 8 years old.

Dear MJ,

Yes...MJ. That is what you would prefer to be called now. This was one of those years where I went to find a picture of you at the beginning of your seventh year and had to look twice at the date. I couldn't quite believe how much you have grown and changed in just one year. It is all happening so fast. I'm pretty sure that sentence comes out in every single one of these posts, but it's true. This year has been great and you have grown and matured so much in just 365 days. I may not be ok with you growing up, but I am very proud of the person you are becoming. Here are some of the things that stick out about you over the last year...

• You got to be in a wedding. This was like a dream come true for you. Daddy's cousin, and one of your Godmothers, got married and asked you to be a flower girl on her special day. You could not wait. The hair, the dress, the accessories...and you were amazing. You took Avery, the younger flower girl, by the hand and helped her walk down the long aisle. I don't think she would have made it without you. 
• You have definitely found your voice. And, like it or not, it sounds a lot like your mothers. You are looking for different ways to make people laugh and getting better and better at your dead pan. You love to be goofy and off the wall. So much so that we have now taught you the word "obnoxious." You are practicing when to be goofy and when to tone it down and again...all of this hits a little too close to home.
• You are independent. You don't mind playing with a group of kids, but if given the choice, you would like to just focus on one person at a time. It is the same when it comes to mom or dad. You like to have us all to yourself and not share if it is at all possible. You are also the one who I can count on to have all of your ducks in a row. In the morning, I can count on you to keep track of time so that you and Natalie are ready to go and out the door on time. You get yourself ready, make your own breakfast, pack your lunch and your backpack all within an hour. I should also mention that you rarely get distracted...unlike some other people in our house that tend to.
• We found out after going to the orthodontist and getting a panoramic 3D x-ray, that you have an extra tooth hiding out in the roof of your mouth. Aunt Beth and I joked about how it was maybe your twin that you ate in the womb, so Beth named it Marcie. Of course this is not true, but you laugh along with us anyway. Some time this year, Marcie will be getting an eviction notice from your mouth. As of right now, she is not causing any problems so, she can hang out a while longer. 
• School is getting easier for you. There are less tears this year which is helped by the fact that you have another amazing teacher. She is able to give you some extra love when you are sad and distract you so that you can make it through the day. Bad days don't come as often and if Natalie stays home sick, you walk out the door on your own without tears to get on the bus. 
• We went to Disney World with Daddy's family this winter and you had a great time. We were able to meet a lot of characters and most importantly...you met Belle. She was wearing her blue dress, not the yellow fancy one, but it was one of the highlights of the trip for me. And, of course, I cried like a little baby.
• You have your own sense of style. Most mornings you find something fun and unique to wear to school, with accessories to match. You ask me more questions about what clothes go together the best and what matches what. After the wedding you were in in October, we cut 8 inches off your hair to donate, so we don't have many options for your hair. But it usually has some sort of headband or barrette to match what you have picked out for the day.

Sweet girl...you continue to amaze me and Daddy everyday. You are strong willed, funny, kind, helpful and brave. We are so proud of the choices you make everyday. We love you tremendously and are enjoying watching you become this amazing, smart little person.

Love you forever,

Mommy

Baby #2 Turns 7!

Just after your 6th birthday. This is your surprised face...in case you couldn't tell.

What are we going to do with you? You are beautiful.

Here you are. 7 years old. Wow.

My Lovely Macie,

It's your golden birthday. 7 on the 7th. Amazing. 7 years ago, I thought you were going to be born in Daddy's VW Passat Wagon. We were only in the hospital for an hour and a half, and two pushes later, you were here. You were so tiny at 6 lbs 3 oz. but your eyes, well, they were just as big as they are now. For so long I thought you looked like a little alien because of your large, deep blue eyes. But, you grew and like your older sister, became a chubby, content baby. This past year you have grown a lot too. You are reading, love to write in your journal and have made some new friends. Here are some things that your Daddy and I have noticed about you this past year. 

• The most obvious physical change is your front teeth. They started to stick out in December and get loose. By January, they were both gone. Like your other teeth, you pulled them both out and used your tooth fairy money to buy a Barbie. Your new teeth have started to come in and I can't wait to see what your smile will look like.
• You joined dance this year and you love it. You love the outfit the most, but the dancing is really fun too. The program is laid back and fun and you have already learned three dances. Considering how nervous you get about new situations or even getting on the bus; you walked right out in front of A LOT of people and did your dance like it was nobody's business. 
• You love to dress up. High heels, earrings, necklaces, and outfits. You put together some really unique and fun outfits some days and other days, you want to dress entirely in one color. The other thing about clothes for you is that they have to "feel" right. If there is a tag or a seam in the wrong place or where you can feel it, you will not wear that piece of clothing. Some pants and shirts get worn over and over. Other stuff that is really cute, never gets worn. 
• Without really knowing it, you always look out for your sisters. If we are in Target and Natalie isn't keeping up, you yell for her or grab her to come with us. I think this position in our family suits you well, even if it is frustrating at times. Evie does not like listening to you. She would much rather get direction from Natalie, but when she is really in a bind, you are there for her. Always. 
• Like your mother, you have grown to like The Muppets. I'm not sure if you have picked a favorite yet, but you love when Miss Piggy comes on and gets all sassy and crazy. Grandma got you The Original Muppet Movie for your birthday and I think your favorite part is the very beginning when Kermit sings the Rainbow Connection. You can sing the whole thing. It's adorable and I couldn't be more proud.
• Your sense of humor has taken a turn toward the sarcastic. You pick up on Mommy and Daddy's jokes and respond faster than we would expect you to. Sometimes it catches us off guard. When asked "Have you seen Daddy?" Your response is something like, "I don't know. I think he went to Vegas." Or, "Where did your food go?" after eating dinner..."I dropped it on the floor and Nugget ate it." Um, ok. Hilarious. 

The day you were born is one of the days I relive in my mind many times throughout the year. I can remember what I was doing in my classroom and how I felt. I remember the contractions as I lay on the couch and every one of them that I had in the car on the way to the hospital. After you were born my recovery was very quick. I was up and out of bed like I hadn't just given birth. The days and years to come have kind of been the same; memorable and sort of painful, but we are both very quick to recover from whatever situation we are in. You have filled our lives with color and joy. Happy birthday my wonderful middle child. We love you so much.

Mommy.

Baby #2 Turns 6!

Every time I sit down to write one of these posts I feel extremely proud and sad. I heard something on the radio the other day and it is so true that I have to share. "The days are long, but the years are short." Yup. That is the story of a parent's life.

What a goof. This was taken shortly after your 5th birthday.

Me and you kiddo!

Feb. 7th. You are 6 today...and, yes, girls do rule.

Dear Macie,

You have done some pretty amazing things this past year and everyday you continue to amaze and challenge me. You and me are two of a kind honey. You love to cuddle and crack jokes to make your sisters laugh. You are full of spunk and stubbornness. When your mind set, it is hard to convince you to do otherwise. Evie hasn't made being a big sister easy, but everyday you try hard to be the kind of big sister she needs. You are still convinced that the only boy you want to marry someday is your Daddy, and that's ok by me. You started kindergarten this year. You only go half days, so we still get to spend our afternoons together. I think you would still prefer to be with me 24/7, but it's a good thing we get breaks from each other. 

Here are some other things that have happened this year:

• You decided to grow your hair out. We can thank the move Tangled for that! After a while you were sick of the snarls every morning so we talked about some options you had. You made the decision to cut your hair and donate it to cancer patients. I couldn't have been more proud of you. You got 8 inches cut off. I cried like a baby. It was such a selfless thing to do. Amazing.
• You started kindergarten. It was a rough start and I knew it would be. Leaving me or your Daddy has always been tough for you. There were lots of tears and physical struggles as you tried NOT to get on the bus, but once you got to school and got busy doing important kindergarten stuff, you did and have done great. 
• You got stitches this year. 7 of them in your chin. We were at Grandma and Papa's when you fell and hit the concrete. When we got to the hospital you barely cried even though you were scared. You sat very still as the doctor was sewing you up and you now have a hospital bracelet that we can hang on the tree every Christmas. 
• You are a shark. Your front bottom two grown up teeth started to come in behind your baby teeth, so you now have 2 sets. Your baby teeth are not wanting to budge, but we are trying very hard to wiggle them and get them out so the dentist doesn't have to.
• This year you learned how to ride a two wheeler! It took most of the summer, but by the end of August, you were a pro. We adjusted your training wheels so that they weren't resting on the ground all of the time. When we were out, they barely hit the ground as you got going! So, we took them off. Nope. Lots of tears. You were not going to do it...the training wheels went back on. Once I told you to listen for the wheels on the ground and how when you didn't hear that noise, it was just you riding a 2 wheeler, that was all it took. You had been doing it all along but just needed the support for a little while longer. That's a good metaphor for who you are as a little person. 
• You would like to be with me at all times. I'm not sure if this is a good or a bad thing, but it is how you have been since you were born. You like to be where you are comfortable. I don't think you like the feeling of trying something new. It's scary to you. But, once you put yourself out there and give those things a try, you are all smiles.

Sweet girl, I relive the day I gave birth to you more than any other day of my life. I was so unsure about everything that happened that day, but once you decided to come into this world, you came full force and would wait for no one. When you are ready, you are ready...no stopping you. I love your silliness, your big heart and how you still need your "Na" (aka blanket) every night to go to sleep. You are such a good helper to anyone around you. You love earrings, necklaces and lip gloss. You're just a string bean of a child, but I wouldn't want you any other way. I love you honey. Happy 6th Birthday.

Love forever,

Mommy.

So...maybe I should get a fish.

This post is dedicated to my friend Carrie, who has inspired the title. Thanks Care :)

A fish you might ask? Yes, a fish. Let me tell you why...

I am a maternal person. It is just a part of who I am. Even as a child I knew this about myself. I started babysitting my cousins young and always had little ones on my lap at Christmas even though I was a little one myself.

I did not get along great with my sisters growing up. I had a couple of problems...first, I always had the thought that I was just as old as Sarah, who was two and a half years older than me. Maybe it was because she was the same size as me and maybe it was just a complex, but it is what I believed. Then, when Beth came 14 months after I was born, I was determined to be her mother. She latched on to Sarah, wanting nothing to do with me...rightfully so. So, even though I didn't get along with either of them, I was extremely protective of both. Again, mothering instincts kicking in.

As a fourth grader, I knew teaching was what I was meant to do with my life. It just fit with every part of who I am. I have never imagined doing anything else.

So now, I am an adult. I am a teacher. I am a wife. I am a mother. I love who I am and what I do.

Now comes the problem. As a mother, for me, I tend to forget the hard or painful times when it comes to my children. The uncomfortable parts of pregnancy, labor, when the kids get sick, etc. God gave me this incredible absentmindedness when it comes to these things. I remember Natalie being 3 months old and looking at Brian saying, "So, when do you want to do this again?" Yep...just a little bit crazy.

* Sidenote - Please keep in mind that I am also the type of mom who has to be away from her children every once in a while. And they need to be away from me. I am a firm believer in focusing on my relationship with Brian so that the rest of the family can be healthy. Everyone in my family has a place. Brian and I are first and the girls come next. This is not to say that I ignore my children. But if Brian and I fall apart, then there is no family and that is the last thing I ever want to happen. Ok, back to the reason I wrote the post*

Evie is going to be two soon and my belly is ITCHING to be pregnant. I see pregnant ladies everywhere. Not only are they stalking me, but families with 4 children follow me around! I think about it and wonder...what's the big deal? But, I have to stop and think. I have to stop and truly think about how full my plate is.

This weekend was one of those weekends. Evie has been running a fever for 2 days. Macie woke up with a fever last night. We were madly dashing back and forth to the doctor to see what was going on. Well, Mace had strep. Great, well theirs meds for that. But Evie, nothing. Teeth are coming in and she has a cold. Overall, she just isn't feeling well. After getting home and trying to make it though the rest of the night, Evie is truly uncomfortable. She spent about 4 hours crying. I had no clue what her problem was. She wouldn't go to sleep even though she was exhausted. I hadn't eaten all day because of the worry and was at my wits end. I was in her bed with her crying too. I made a call to a dear friend who told me, "Gina, go bring her to Children's. This is not like her. Go find out what is wrong." Let me tell you...you need people like this in your life. They save you in moments like this.

So, Macie is already asleep at 7pm because she is exhausted. Natalie was such a trooper all day, we let her stay up with our neighbor who came over while we went to the hospital. As we get there, Evie burps once and "beepers" (as we call it) twice, and I am thinking "Oh, no. We did NOT just come to the ER for gas!" She gets checked in, checked out by the nurse practitioner and we run some tests. Another strep test, because she has a weird rash on her neck and forehead, nope. Not strep. They took some urine to see if she had a bladder infection. Nope, not that either. Finally they did an x-ray of her belly, which was not my idea but that is the exact reason why I feel Children's is the BEST place to go. And that looked fine. In the process of all of this my third child continues to beeper all over the place.

So, we go home. Was she screaming for 4 hours due to gas? Maybe. Were their other things going on with her to cause her to cry and scream and take in more air which causes her to have more gas and pain? Yea, probably. But YIKES! WHAT AM I...NEW? Frustrating.

It is weekends like this that I HAVE to remember. I have to remember what weekends like this do to me. These weekends are not going to go away. I know that. In fact, having three girls, the problems are going to turn from little things like gas to lord knows what. Let the emotional roller coaster begin.

I am a very blessed woman. I am surrounded with love and support. Not everyone has that. I needed to write this to remind myself that I have a lot. Adding another child to our lives would be great, but I need to live in the world now and stop thinking about what I wish I had. Plus, I don't know that having another baby would stop my wanting for babies! As Molly and Carrie have both told me, "Gina, if you have another child, does that mean you WON'T want another one?" Um...I'm not sure.

So, there it is. Focus on the now. Love what you have. Deal with what is in front of your face.

Ok. I will try.

Baby #2 Turns 5!

Here you are on your 4th birthday. You are growing up so fast. I don't think as a parent you can say that enough. The days seem so long, yet the years go by so fast. 

Your first day of  pre-school. It took you a while to get used to going, but once you got comfortable there, you were so excited to go!

Here you are with Mommy and Daddy just a few days before your 5th birthday. We are so lucky to have you!

This is what I know about you:

• You are hilarious. You say so many funny things and you don't even know it. I really can't even think of anything off the top of my head, but I think its more than what you say. It's how you say things. You get sarcasm and one day, you might be as good at it as your mom.
• When you are in a silly mood, you say "Mom, I love you, and a pig fell in the mud and you fell in the mud." A while ago Daddy kept telling you and Natalie a "dirty joke." Then he would say, "A pig fell in the mud!" Well, somehow it got attached onto saying that you love us. You are so weird sometimes.
• You love being a sister. Still. I love this about you. You watch out for not only your little AND big sister, you also care for all the little ones at daycare. It is one of your greatest qualities. Your big heart shows right through.
• You love to learn and it seems to come natural to you. You ask Natalie to teach you letters and how to spell names. Now you are picking out letters all over the place. You can spell your name, mom, dad and Evie. When you ask how to spell things now, it is rare that I have to tell you how to make the letters. 
• You are a tall and skinny little girl. I say this all the time, but leggings have a tough time staying up on that waist. 

Macie, you are our second little miracle. You have been amazing since the day you were born. You still make people earn your hugs and smiles, but it is one of my favorite things about you. If someone is going to get to know you, they have to work at it. I see so much of myself in you, but there are glimmers of Daddy too. You are going to do great things for this world little girl. I love you so much!

Mommy.

Sour Grapes!

The other night at dinner, the green grapes were quite sour. The girls made sure we knew what their sour faces looked like. I thought I would share. Enjoy!

Natalie's sour face

Macie's sour face

Evie didn't get it. 

Baby #2 turns 4!

Here you are my love on your 3rd birthday. Wow, you look little. Still, those big, beautiful, bluish green eyes are melting my heart. 

Half way through your 3rd year and I can already see a difference. You are growing up. I'm not sure if it is because by the time this picture was taken you had become a big sister, or just that each day you seem to grow an inch. 

Here you are. 4 years old.

This is what I have noticed about you so far...

• You don't give your smiles to just anyone. If someone wants to get to know you, they have to work for it
• You are a string bean! I have finally told Grandma to only buy leggings or sweat pants for you. No other pants will stay up on that skinny butt of yours. Even the leggings have difficulty saying up on your hips.
• You are very strong willed and stubborn. It is a blessing and a curse my love. I am still struggling to get a handle on it -  you are, in many ways, me when it comes to your personality
• You love being a sister. When Evie came along, we got to see how truly big your heart is. You are the first one to run to her when she is crying or to come and tell me that she needs something. I know you will always be there to watch out for your little sister
• Your speech has come a long way. There are still a few times where I'm not quite sure what you are saying to me, but once you slow down you are able to get your point across
• You can't wait to go to school. You see Natalie come home from school and hear her talk about her friends and her teachers. You think it is so unfair that you can't go too. Soon my dear
• There is something about your personality that I can't really explain. There have been many times in your four years where my heart is overflowing with love for you. Then, within 2 minutes you have found a way to make me angry! It's true talent
• I love that when you wake up, you want to cuddle. Its one of my favorite things ever

You are an amazing little girl Macie and I love you. Happy Birthday.

In Their Words Wednesday

I am so behind on my posts! I fount this one and forgot to post it quite a while ago. Not very long, but still...enjoy!

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Macie: My baby is sleeping
Molly: Oh. What's your baby's name?
Macie: No, not a baby. A tuppy. (puppy)
Molly: Well, what's your puppy's name?
Macie: Tulta
Molly: Tulta?
Me: Sulsa?
Macie: Yea, Tulta!

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Every once in a while Natalie will be talking to Evie and soon we will hear...

Look Mommy! She's givin me the BIG EYES!

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My Tough Girl

So when Evie arrived, Natalie and Macie immediately fell in love with her. Of course they did. She is not only gorgeous, but an amazing baby. Both girls OBVIOUSLY knew from the start that their baby sister was/is perfect.

But, like all children, they both went through transition. Natalie got a little bossier and Macie, well, she did the only thing she knew how to do well...take everything out on me.

Macie would love Evie up everyday. Tell me everything she was doing at every moment. Talk to her in a voice three octaves higher than her normal voice. Then...she would throw fits over nothing, do things she knew she shouldn't do and climb into bed EVERY SINGLE NIGHT! Brian and I had to do something.

I got my ears pierced when I was 5. So did my sisters. It was the age when my mom decided that we were old enough to have our ears pierced. So, I decided that when Natalie turned 5 in May, she could get hers pierced too. Needless to say, she wanted nothing to do with it. She knew that it would hurt and she said "NO." on her 5th birthday. So, I was a little upset, and my retort was "Well then, I'll bring Macie to get her ears pierced on your birthday!" I know, its not that mature. I didn't bring her. I'm not that mean.

But this sparked Macie's interest. She was all for getting her ears pierced. So, when Evie was born in June and Macie started acting up in July, we started a sticker chart that she could earn stickers to get her ears pierced. She could earn up to 4 stickers a day for listening to me and her dad. If she got 4 stickers a day, she would have earned all her stickers in three weeks. Of course there were little prizes here and there to keep her interested and, after about 4 weeks, Macie earned her big prize: we went and got her ears pierced.

September 3rd, 2010: This girl was amazing. She sat down. She picked out the purple earrings, of course, we got the little purple marks on her ears. I checked them to make sure they were even, which I don't think they are, and there she sat. One, two, three. Done. Not even one tear. She looked at me like it hurt, but when I told her it was over she just smiled and laughed a little. The kind of laugh where she didn't know whether to keep laughing or cry. What a tough girl.

Purple Ears Pierced!

So Proud

Me and My Little Girls

What was Natalie doing during all this? She was hiding behind Evie's stroller. Oy.

In Their Words Wednesday

Goodness. I do love my kids.

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While eating dinner, Macie went to touch something close to or on Natalie's plate.
Natalie: MACIE! Don't touch my food with your gluten fingers!

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Natalie: Mom, this is how I talk to Evie in my polite voice...
(her voice gets 2 octaves higher) Hi! Hi Evie! Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!


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Me: What did you do at free-choice today?
Natalie: Played Leap Frog. But Mom, they weren't real frogs cause if they were, they would be peein' and jumpin' all OVER the place!


Thanks for the visual.

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While we were laying in bed one morning, Macie bonked her head on the wall.
Macie: Ow. That tickled Mamma!
Me: It did?
Macie: Yea. But Mamma, when I say it tickled, it actually hurt. I just joking when I say that.
Me: Oh. Ok. I'm glad you understand the difference. :)

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A few times this week I have gotten to observe Brian and Evie adore each other. Brian lays on the ground  puts her next to him. She lays there and simply stares at him. Most of the time she smiles then every once in a while you will hear a soft coo and she starts to pant, kick and flail her arms wildly. They are so deeply in love with each other. I'm sure I will never see a more beautiful sight than this.

Insert tears. ;)
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In Their Words Wednesday - a day early

So this is coming on Tuesday because I keep forgetting to post it.

Recently our niece spent the night at our house. Man is she funny!

In the car on the way back from Beth's house:
Hailey: Gina, you drive fast. My mom drives slow.

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While looking at our book shelf in the living room:
Hailey: Wow! You guys have a lot of Jesus books!

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Natalie: Macie, did it hurt when you got your ears pierced?
Macie: No.
Natalie: Did it tickle?
Macie: Yup!

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Me: Natalie, guess who called me on the phone the other day?
Natalie: Who?
Me: Nick Jonas!
Natalie: Fo' Real!?!?

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June 24th, 2010

Evie Marie Stangl

Born: June 24th, 2010 at 4:15 p.m.

6 lbs. 7 oz.

19 1/4 in.

Dear Evie,

You are finally here and all of us are so glad! However getting you into this world was quite a process, but what labor isn't? I want to write this down so that you know and so that I don't forget, so here goes...

Saturday, June 19th, 2010

Natalie and Macie were spending the weekend with Grandma and Papa so Mommy and Daddy could get some much needed rest. Every day towards the end of your pregnancy was tiring and by 6pm every night I was in the tub to relax then to the couch to rest. We spent Saturday outside with friends at a crayfish boil. The weather was beautiful and I even managed to get a little sun. Daddy and I got home and as we started to get ready for bed, I noticed that I started to have some contractions. They weren't very painful but I could definitely tell something was going on. So, off we headed to the hospital.

I was having contractions, but they weren't very strong, so the Dr. on call decided to give me something to stop the contractions and by 10:00 am we were headed home.

Sunday, June 20th, 2010
Sunday was very uneventful. We spent the day resting and your sisters came home from Grandma and Papa's house. All of us were getting very impatient to meet you!

Monday, June 21st, 2010
Natalie and Macie headed to daycare and I spent the day resting. Around dinner time, I started to not feel very good...again. This time, my contractions were much more painful than two nights ago, but they were only coming every 20 minutes or so. As the hours passed, I continued to contract but nothing was very consistent. By 1:00 am, we decided to call the Dr. and he recommended that once my contractions reached 5 minutes apart, to head to the hospital. Of course, once I got off the phone, they stopped. Arg.

Tuesday, June 22nd, 2010
Daddy took the day off of work to go to the Dr. with me. We had been up most of the night wondering if tonight was the night you were going to make your grand entrance, so needless to say, we were both pretty tired. We saw the Dr. and she told me that I was 4-5 cm dilated and to continue to wait it out. This, of course, put me into tears because I so badly wanted to be done being pregnant and anxious to meet you. They sent me home to rest and relax. She also reminded me that the longer you stayed in my tummy, the better it was for health reasons. So, the waiting continued.

Wednesday, June 23rd, 2010

The day was pretty uneventful but once dinner time rolled around, the contractions started again. This time, they were close together and painful. I didn't want to go to the hospital, but Daddy insisted. We called Grandma to come and watch your sisters and off we went. The nurses put me in a room and monitored me for a while and yes, I was definitely in labor, however I was still not 37 weeks; I was 36 weeks 5 days. We walked the halls trying to progress labor but by 11:00 pm, everything had stopped...again. We didn't know what was going to happen. At that point, I just wanted to go home. However, that was not suggested and we decided to stay. I was still at 5 cm and the Dr. on call to give me an oral medication and a shot of morphine to help me sleep through the night. I was nervous about the morphine since I had never taken it, but finally made the decision to put my trust in the Drs. and nurses taking care of me and do what they thought was best. I have to say, that was the best decision we made. I got a wonderful night of sleep.

Thursday, June 24th, 2010
I woke up at 5:15 am and had the nurse check on me and when asked if I could sleep more, I said "Yes!" so, that's what I did. I woke up at 7:30 am ready for whatever they were going to tell me. My new nurse was Jan, a nurse that I had had for both of your sisters and is one of the most amazing people I have come into contact with in my life so far. She is amazing and loves her job. After checking my cervix she reassured me that, no, I wasn't going home. After she told me that, I was ready to name you Jan.

The rest of the day was pretty uneventful. I wasn't in as much pain and did some more walking to see if I could move things along. I went from a 5 to a 5 1/2 but it was enough for my Dr. to give permission for an epidural and pitocin. Jan had to help with another labor so she introduced us to Jessica. Again, another amazing woman. We waited for the pitocin to start to work and after an hour or so, a resident came in to break my water.

~Sidenote~ I love watching nurses teach residents what to do!

I still was not making a lot of progress and Jessica noticed that the resident may not have broken my water like she thought she did, so Jessica gave it a shot. She definitely accomplished the task. Not long after that I was fully dilated and my Dr. was called. Jessica suggested that I start to push you out so that when the Dr. arrived she would just have to catch. We went through a couple of rounds of pushing and after 3 or 4 rounds Jessica says "Ok, I want you to push one more time, but I may you stop depending on how close the baby is to crowning...OK STOP! We are going to wait now." It's a good thing I had an epidural, otherwise there would have been no stopping!

My Dr. came through the door minutes later panting! She was stuck in detours and construction and I am pretty sure she ran as soon as she parked her car. Once she was ready, I pushed and not long after, out you came. It was such an amazing moment for all of us in the room. Our Dr. who had been with us through all the scary parts of the pregnancy, Jessica who had helped us through out most of my labor during the day and Daddy and I.

The Dr. held you up and immediately I started to laugh and cry all at the same time. I was so excited that you were a girl. You completed our family and had fought your way to be with us. You were placed on my chest and Daddy and I couldn't stop giggling and crying. As I looked at my Dr., she was smiling and crying with us. What an amazing person. There was no hurry to take you away from me. I cleaned you off and kissed you, and Daddy named you Evie. What a perfect little girl you were the moment you breathed your first breath.

As soon as I could I called Grandma and she put Natalie on the phone...
Natalie: Hi Momma! Are you coming home?
Me: Soon honey...Mommy had the baby.
Natalie: You had the baby!?!?
Me: Yea! You have another baby sister.
Natalie: (big inhaled breath) MACIE WE HAVE A BABY SISTER!
The sound of her excitement still replays in my head when I watch her with you.

Evie, we didn't know if you would make it to us safe. On the day you arrived it was one of the happiest days of our lives. We love you so much and can't wait to watch you grow and see what kind of person you are going to become.

I love you always.
Mommy

In Their Words Wednesday

Some funny things the girls have been saying!
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Macie: You ok Mamma?
Me: Yup. My tummy just hurts a little.
Macie: The baby hurting you?
Me: Yea, a little.
Macie: Oh nuts!

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We were in the van driving somewhere and Jason Derulo's "In My Head" song came on the radio. A few minutes after it was over...

Natalie: Mom, I was jammin to that last song. You know, the "goin down in my head" song. I really like it.

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Al had taken the girls on a walk and they came across a retaining wall. Both girls climbed up and proceeded to jump off of different levels of the wall. Natalie continued to get higher and higher and after each time she jumped off made the statement: "That's what I'm talkin' about!"

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Me: You are my baby.
Macie: No I'm not!
Me: Yes you are. You will always be my baby!
Macie: No! I'm Daddy's baby!"

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Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known. ~Carl Sagan

Dear Baby,

I sit here and continue to wait for your arrival. Will it really take 32 more days until I get to meet you? Will it take less? more? You are still very active in my belly; continuing to toss and turn whenever I am still. My body tries to make room for you and you have no problems pushing whatever you want out of the way.

I am so curious to meet you. First of all, are you a boy or a girl? Through the beginning part of this pregnancy, there was no question in my mind that you are our third and final girl. But the more active you became, both Daddy and I agreed you must be a boy! Now, I'm just not sure. I don't have a feeling either way about your gender but I do know that you are a fighter. From the beginning you have been a fighter and it is something I already love about you.

Second, your name. This has been very hard for Daddy and I. I have given up and left it up to your Dad. I think he has it down to two girl names and two boy names but I think we will still have to spend some time with you before we pick one out. As we searched for names that we liked, we found many, but none that we were absolutely in love with. We didn't even disagree about names. Everything was just Ok. We don't want something too popular or anything that can be spelled 12 different ways. Papa Snyder insists on calling you Vince whether you are a boy OR a girl and Grandma Snyder likes Ronnie (Veronica) or Hannah if you are a girl. Natalie decided a while ago that if you are a boy you should be named Hent, Tent or Trent, and if you are a girl, Sparkle. We will just have to see I guess.

Third, I can't wait for you to meet your sisters. Natalie loves to feel you move around in my belly. She thinks that you are going to be a boy even though she would be ok if she got another sister. She is always coming up to me and asking "Is the baby moving Mamma?" or "I feel something hard right there! What is that?" She can't wait to hold you, take care of you and make you laugh. She is already such a good big sister to Macie. Even though I know she wasn't too  thrilled on having another sibling in the first place, I think she is pretty excited now.

Macie has not been very interested in you until about two weeks ago. She thinks you are going to be a girl. She also has started to touch my belly a lot and insists on kissing and hugging my belly, saying goodbye when I drop her off at daycare and goodnight to you when I tuck her into bed. She asks "Is the baby coming out now?", "Does the baby hurt you Mamma?" and "I want to hold her!" It is so hard for her to wait. I think Macie is going to be my biggest helper once you come. She is not as interactive with other babies we are around, but has to make sure that they have toys, snacks, their cup, whatever is needed to keep them happy. She can't wait to be a big sister.

Fourth, I can't wait for you to meet your Daddy. He is amazing. It took him a little longer to know if he wanted you or not, but I think in his heart he knew you would always be a part of our lives. Many people seem to think that just because we have had two girls already, that we wanted to have a third to try for a boy. But to tell you the truth, we wanted a third CHILD. Boy or girl makes no difference to us. We didn't decide to have children to have a specific gender. We just wanted kids. Daddy loves babies and I can't wait for him to hold you, swaddle you (he is a master at this) and brag about you just like he does about the girls. Even though you are our third, I feel as if he may be more of a baby hog with you. I don't really know why, it is just a feeling I have.

So, I will continue to wait little one. I will tell you to take your time, but as each day passes it is getting harder and harder to be patient. I will continue to count the days.

I love you.
Mamma

In Their Words Wednesday

This is from the last two weeks. It isn't a lot, but I have been wanting to get it out there. Hopefully I can keep it up Elena. Enjoy!

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Brian:What do you think about that Nattie?
Natalie: Daddy, I like Natalie better. Some people call me Nattie, but I like Natalie the best.
Brian: But I can still call you Nattie, right?
Natalie: Yea, but I still like Natalie the best.

Ok, I guess she has an opinion about her name.

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Brian: Where did this rain come from?!?!
Macie: I don't know.
Natalie: Rainclouds.
Brian: Thank you Captain Obvious.

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Natalie: Dad, I took the binder out of Ariel Princess's hair (her Barbie doll) and it was OUT OF CONTROL!

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In Their Words Wednesday

Ok Elena. I'm gonna give this a try and hopefully I will be able to keep it up! There is only a few, but I think I have to just tune in a little more to what the girls are saying. Most of the time they are pretty funny, but I am so used to the quirky things they say, that I don't realize they are funny until someone comes over, hears their conversations or has a conversation with them, and starts to laugh.

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Natalie: Mom! Look at my toe!
Me: What? What happened...
Natalie: It's bleeding.
Me: Oh. Why?
Natalie: I don't know. I stubbed it on something sharp. (with a "duh" look on her face)

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While eating grapes at the table, Macie takes a bunch that are still on the vine. As she is picking them off of the vine, one of the stems comes off with the grape.
She looks at the grape and says: "What the..."

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Brian picked up the girls from daycare and on their way to a park the Ke$ha song "Your Love is My Drug" song came on. I hate Ke$ha, but this song so catchy to me, so when it comes on, me and the girls rock out. Brian hates the song but decided to leave it on.
When it was done Natalie said: Daddy, my favorite part of the song is when she says "crack head." It's funny!
My influence is not so good on the girls apparently.

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So Human

Love...

• Diet Coke - warm or cold, I can't get enough
• Spearmint Life Savers - I could eat an entire bag and not care if I get gut rot
• Double Stuf Oreos - 'nuf said
• All American Rejects - I can listen to their albums from start to finish
• Bull Durham - Best. Baseball. Movie. Ever.
• Sarcasm - I don't care if people think I use sarcasm because I am unhappy. It is a part of me and even though I need to keep it in check sometimes, it makes me smile
• Baths - Summer or winter, I love a hot bath - the kind that makes your skin turn red
• My Grandma's potato salad - she can't write down the recipe but knows its right because of how it looks. I've decided she has to live forever or at least as long as I do so I can always eat her potato salad in the summer
• Brian and my girls - that's a given
• Flannel sheets
• Peas - I always have and always will
• Raspberries - pick and eat until you are full
• A good sneeze
• The sun - I'm like a cat. If the sun is shining in the house somewhere, I will find it and curl up
• Our church - we have found a community that we love and want to contribute to. I can't wait for Sunday's to come around
• Rain - I always sleep better and I love the smell (not the worm smell, the other smell)
• Sleeping
• When I'm teaching and I can physically SEE when a child learns something
• Reading - I have only recently become a lover of reading but I can't get enough
• Playing cards - Gin, Rummy, Euchre, 99, Cribbage, I love a good card game - however if you play me, I want to win
• When I can talk baseball and sound somewhat intelligent
• A good piece of steak - cooked rare perfectly on the grill. My dad has ruined me in this category and I thank him for it
• Shoes - tennis, crocs, wedges, flats, boots, I want them all
• Marshmallows - the best fat free snack and potty training tool in the world
• Big Bang Theory, The Mentalist and Deadliest Catch
• Ice - I am an ice chewer. I will thank Mom for that one. And on top of that, I am an ice snob! Do you know there are places that have better ice than others? True story

Dislike

• Heartburn
• Olives
• Mushrooms
• Pants that look good but are uncomfortable to wear
• When your nose is stuffed on only one side
• That I am TOO opinionated at times. Some things just need to be kept to myself and that's ok!
• Cleaning the bathroom
• The two weeks during strato season where all the boys are calling Brian working out trades and asking opinions
• That Justin Morneau has to have a full count more often than not when batting. It stresses me out - don't judge
• That Natalie is growing up
• Exercising - Ew
• Rage Against the Machine - again, Ew
• Money - It's no good
• Rory's gone
• Restless Leg Syndrome
• Waking up and having some part of my body that has "fallen asleep" - especially my hands/arms

These are just some things on my mind tonight.

Being a single parent is not for me

Brian left for Richmond to go watch NASCAR on Wednesday which means I have been a single parent for 4 whole days. My first concern was "Who will bring me my juice in the morning?" which, of course is a major deal! We have a very nice routine every morning and that was going to be interrupted because of Brian's vacation with my Dad and brother in-laws. But if you know anything about the type of husband and father Brian is, you know that he so deserves this vacation.

The girls and I have been managing just fine. We even planned a night at a hotel/water park with my mom and sisters and their kids. 4 adults and 6 kids under the age of 5 was quite the experience. The girls had a blast with their cousins and loved staying at the hotel. However, having an adventure like this while being 29 weeks pregnant is not something that I would want to do again. Everything just hurts more this time around and my Dr. simply says "It gets worse with every pregnancy." Oh. Ok.

Brian's cousin was nice enough to come over on Friday to hang out with the pooch so I didn't have to kennel him. Then she stayed until late on Saturday which was awesome. The girls LOVE hanging out with her and I was able to stay somewhat emotionally and mentally stable through Saturday. Molly came over too, but due to a puppy who is just excited about everything, she had to get that doggie back home.

I would have to say the highlight of the weekend was eating dinner Saturday night. I made pasta with chicken and veggies and Macie just wasn't interested in her food. She would pick at it but that was about it. Finally, I was done trying to convince her to eat, and told her that she could be done and to get down from the table. She looked at me, tears filling her eyes, lip in full pout mode and said "I miss my Daddy!" and proceeded to cry. It was really quite sweet. We cuddled and a few minutes later she was ok.

Brian comes back today, but instead of coming home, he is heading right to the softball fields for a double header. We will meet him up there for his first game so we can say hi, then home and off to bed. I have to say, 8:00pm can't come fast enough.

More Bacon Than the Pan Can Handle

It's late and restless leg is getting the best of me. I first experienced restless leg when I was pregnant with Natalie and I have to say, I think it is one of the most uncomfortable feelings I have ever experienced. I had it with Macie as well, but it came a little earlier in the pregnancy. With this baby, it came on much earlier. Since I was on bed rest from week 11, the uncomfortable feeling in my legs came at 12 weeks. I had been hoping that the feeling would subside a little when I went back to work full time and was on my feet more, but, no such luck. Now, here I sit at 12:09 at night with my mind racing and my legs wanting to run along with it.

I am a full time working mom. It is not something I am ashamed of. I love what I do and feel that I would not be a good stay at home mom. Some women are meant to be at home with their kids. They come up with activities, sign up for classes and can keep up a routine. I have the opportunity to do this every summer and can manage a routine for a good two weeks before it all falls apart. My job is where I have structure, routine and sanity; even if it does involve twenty-one 6 year olds.

Baby #3 is what has my mind going tonight. July is the scheduled time for this child to come into our lives and I don't feel as if I will have enough time with him/her. Natalie was born in May, so I got to have the full summer to get to know her and being that I was just starting my job, I was excited to get to start work. Macie was a February baby and even though it was difficult to drop her off at daycare at 6 weeks old, I knew that summer wasn't far away and we would have time together. Baby #3's time seems to be cut short. Depending on when baby makes his/her grand entrance, week six comes right around workshop week and I am in it for the year. When do I get to know this child? Unless God has a different plan for us, Brian and I are planning on this being our last child. I don't want to miss out on anything because of work, but I don't think I can handle being a full time stay at home mom either.

It's not like there isn't options; there are. Having options means that decisions need to be made. Making decisions is going to turn our family down one path or another. There is not a "right" path. The choice is the difficult part - left or right. I continue to pray for guidance and peace of mind and know that with time, things will work themselves out.

Do I start to blog again? Or Not...

I have recently switched to this blog site because the one I was using previously was blocked at work. I also like that this blog is a google application and I use some of their apps already. The last post on the other blog was another letter to Rory. I am glad I still write them and think that it is very therapeutic for me when I am feeling very emotional about him. However, there has been a lot going on in the past six months that I would like to touch on as well. So, here goes...

September: The school year started off great and after going back and forth about having another child, Brian and I decided, why not. Unfortunately, the pregnancy didn't stick and we lost the baby at six weeks. Although this was hard, there was so much support and love surrounding me I got through that time okay. Natalie started her second year of preschool (two days a week) and, just like last year, loved school and her teacher. Macie continues to come into her own and started to talk a lot more. Molly who had been living with us for about 18 months bought her own town home and moved out. Brian and I are so proud of all of the steps she has made to move forward in her life.

October: We were told to wait, and didn't listen. October came around and I was pregnant...again. We are so blessed to not have fertility problems and everything felt different about this pregnancy. We made it to the apple orchard a couple of times and Halloween was a blast.

November: Nothing exciting. November was a boring month.

December: I started to show already and also found out that our neighbors were also going to be having a baby. We were all so excited. Got though Rory's birthday. Got through Rory's death day. The month seemed to fly by, but just in time for Christmas, Dec. 21, I started to bleed. I was 11 weeks and thought I was going to miscarry. I made it through the night without too much more bleeding and after another ultrasound it looked as if the baby was fine, but that I had a hemorrhage. We later found out that the placenta had tore away from the wall of my uterus and caused the bleed. I was put on bed rest and tried to learn what that meant. I still don't completely know.

January: I didn't return to work until I could see my Dr. and decide what was best for me and the baby. Our family, friends, neighbors and church surrounded us with support and prayers throughout the entire situation. It was amazing. I went back to work part time from the second week of January and was glad to be out of the house for part of the day. My father in law passed the winter time away by building the girls beautiful bunk beds which they absolutely love. I was also sent to a perinatologist to have a level 2 ultrasound done to check out how things were progressing with the baby. 20 weeks was the benchmark I had to make it to, so I had to continue to take it easy and just wait.

February: I had a birthday and Macie had a birthday. I can't believe she is 3. What an amazing little girl she has become. I also had my 20 week ultrasound with the perinatologist at which point he said "You healed yourself! I told you you would." And, life returned to normal...somewhat. The stress was gone and I went back to work full time. This was a very good thing. :)

March: March also came and went quickly. I was glad to be back at work full time and I think my students were glad too...I think. Now that the stress of a high risk pregnancy was gone my belly popped out more than ever and the baby was moving around like nothing was ever wrong. We continued to switch the playroom to a nursery and the name search had begun. Natalie wants a brother and Macie wants a sister, however when asked who gets to decide these things they both answer "God." Thats right little girls! Natalie has mentioned suggestions for names though: Boy: Trent, Girl: Sparkle. Thank you 4 year old.

April: April is well on its way and the baby is more active than ever. Both Brian and I thought that we would always have 3 girls, but we both get the feeling that this one is a boy. Heartrates continue to be between 150-155 bpm, but the movement just doesn't stop. Especially from 6-11pm.

All in all, we are loving life and can't wait for what the rest of the year has to bring us. I hope I can continue to find time to post on this blog. It is a way for me to journal and remember. If people read it, that's great, but really I just need a place to share and vent...whether anyone is listening or not. :)