Baby #1 Turns 12!

Summer after Natalie's 11th birthday

Looking grown up and fancy at Steve's Wedding

12 years old today

Dear Natalie,

I wrote you a letter last year the day before your birthday and honestly, I don't remember writing it. When I decided to go back to school for my masters degree, birthday letters took a backseat. I am going to do my best to get back into the habit because I want to remember who you were at this age. 

It was a big year for you...middle school. At first a bit nervous, you soon loved the structure of middle school and making new friends. Although there was drama at times, for the most part, your year was great. You are an independent student who works hard for your grades. Science was tricky for you, but you learned how to use a study guide and how to keep your things organized with minimal help from mom and dad. Your usual school attire was jeans and baggy sweatshirts. After pulling your hair into a pony tail, you were off by 7am to catch the bus everyday. 

You gave swimming on a team a try this year as well. Sports are still something you aren't too invested in, but you see the importance of being involved instead of just coming home to sit around. Both Daddy and I are hoping you would like to continue swimming, but would love for you to try whatever else you are interested in. 

Art continues to be important in your life. You are always creating. Drawing. Doodling. It has become a creative outlet for you and you are good at it. Another interest along with art has been baking. Grandma got you a lot of baking stuff for Christmas this year and in learning how to make different things in the kitchen. 

I think the last biggest shift you made this year was going from being babysat to being the babysitter. After taking the babysitting course through community education, you have really taken on helping out with Evie and the kids in the neighborhood. You look for fun things to do with young kids and are very responsible with anyone you are watching. Matt and Morgan loved having you to watch your cousins and the neighbors love having a sitter on their street. You are patient, kind, responsible and caring...which makes me so proud.

My girl. You are growing up and we could not be happier with the person you are growing into. It's quite amazing. You are funny and even have a little of my witty personality shining through. You lead with your heart and are always trying to learn new things. 

I love you honey and I hope you had an amazing 12th birthday.

Mommy.

When do we grow up, really?

I think the one thing about parenting that takes my breath away more than anything is when you see yourself, like who you are as a person, show up in your child. Pieces of who you are in another human being. Every time it happens with my girls, I am baffled, confused...sometimes really happy, and other times pretty upset.

I have three girls. I wouldn't want it any other way. I need those girls. Like air and water. I need them. They are so completely different and yet made up of the same things. I wonder at times if it is more difficult for Brian to see himself in the girls simply because of their gender, but I know he sees himself just the same.

Guilt. I have guilt because I started writing the girls letters on their birthdays on this blog and the last time I wrote a letter was a year ago. I have missed Macie and Evie's birthday letters and here I am writing the night before Natalie turns 11. Inward. Why do we turn inward when it has nothing to do with us. I feel guilty. I feel old. Have I really been a mom for 11 years? Well, it is about me and my journey with this lovely family I have. But it is so much about them and our time together because, man, it is so short.

The motivation tonight is Natalie. My oldest. My creative, artistic, kind, animal and child loving girl. She was in tears tonight. Why? Because she doesn't want to grow up. And of course, my thought is "I did this. I made her feel this was. I kept telling her that I don't want her to get older." Inward. Fault. Hindsight.

She seems nervous about going to middle school, (who wouldn't be...eek) and has been saying lately here and there that she doesn't want to get older. She doesn't want to grow up. Tonight it all came out in tears and sadness and worry. She wants to continue to play with the little kids. She wants to play dress up and make believe and not feel like she shouldn't be doing those things because she is getting older. Sigh. This girl.

This is also the girl who in the last month has been asking more and more questions about her body and make-up and cell phones. I think she is struggling with being ok with her childlike heart and having to defend it if necessary. No matter what, she has to be ok with who she is and what she wants to do with her time and that is what I told her. I never seem to mind much what other people think of me. But that is who I am. She cares more about what others think and that makes this difficult.

I understand that what I am writing is a string of thoughts that are disjointed and yet somewhat connected. But, I think it is just what I needed to say tonight. I have an 11 year old who has children follow her around the playground because she draws them in, much like what I did as a child. I have an 11 year old who wants to grow up and yet...doesn't. I have an 11 year old who is emotional and hormonal. Eek. I have an 11 year old who is the first in her family (immediate and extended) to be experiencing these things. She doesn't have someone to look at and see how they handle growing up. She is the oldest and she has 10 younger kids (that's just talking about our family...not to mention the neighbors and other families we are close to with young kiddos) that she is very close to watching her to see how she handles it. I'm so glad they have her and she will be able to help them if they need it.

So, what's the plan? The plan is that tomorrow will come. Natalie will turn 11. And it will be another day. And she will be her. And I will cuddle her and love her for her heart and not her age. Because isn't that what we all kinda want? I do.

Baby #1 Turns 10!

Right around your 9th birthday. Fun, silly girl.

We got to go to Disney this year!

10 years old. Wow. When did that happen?

Dear Natalie,

This post is three months late. I'm sorry. I have decided to write these posts with your birthdays as a deadline and I completely failed. But, here it is. No excuses. Just an apology. Life got busy and I didn't write your letter, but I wonder if deep down I am just in denial about you growing up. I mean, look at that last picture! What happened to my little chubby baby? She is nowhere to be seen. What I do see, however, is a young woman ready to take on the world.

You continue to be an amazing big sister. Evie adores you and, most of the time, you are willing to help her with whatever she needs. Macie continues to be a great friend and partner in crime. Fourth grade was a big year for you. As parents, we are still learning how balance giving you some independence and responsibility and learning when to reign it in a little. You are working on how to solve problems yourself, especially girl drama that comes with this age. You have decided to give the trombone a try for fifth grade band. When you want to practice, I think you are quite good at it! Our friend Joel has even taught you how to play pieces of "Uptown Funk!"

You continue to draw, color, create, bike and play school. You have started to stay home alone here and there for bits of time and I think you like the house quiet and to yourself. You have been more and more interested in making your own food...quesadillas being your favorite so far. Your cousins all look up to you and you have been a great role model for them.

I love that you still want to cuddle and hold my hand, and that even though it's not going to work, you still try to delay bedtime for as long as possible. I am excited to see what this next year holds for you. It is the only year all of my girls will be in the same school together. Next year...off to middle school. Yikes. But, I will take the advice of a very wise friend and live for what is happening now. If I spend too much time thinking of the past or the future, I will miss all the wonderful that is happening now.

I love you my baby.
Happy Birthday...three months late.
Mommy

Baby #1 Turns 9!

The summer after your 8th birthday. You spent the summer being a butterfly whisperer. 

In the middle of the winter that would not end. I can start to see the adult you are going to look like someday.

Beauty. And I'm not talking about your physical characteristics. 

Dear Natalie Louise,

I'm not even sure how to start this letter. You continue to grow up and you continue to amaze me. I ask myself regularly, "How did we get so lucky?" You have been Mommy and Daddy's guinea pig. Our experiment. We have tried so many parenting techniques on you and you remain patient with us in letting us think we know what we are doing. You are our most easy going child and for that, I want to say, thank you. Here is what we have noticed about you in the last year. 

• You have freckles! I don't know if you can see them in that last picture, but they are the most adorable thing ever. I hope they never go away and I hope you love them as much as I do.
• School continues to be a challenge for you, but these past two years you have had the most amazing teachers help to encourage you and challenge you when necessary and it has made all the difference. At our second conference with your 3rd grade teacher he showed us the incredible gains you have made this last year and all of us were so proud of you. I made sure to stop by to see your 2nd grade teacher as well. She was thrilled. You are such a hard worker when it would just be easier for you to quit. You continue to try everyday at school and we are so proud of you.
• At this same conference with your teacher, we learned that you had befriended the boy in your class with autism. Your teacher often sat you next to him as a good role model for some behaviors and you kindly helped him catch up when he came back from being out of class with his other teachers. More important than grades and test scores, this kind of behavior matters to us. That you are a good, kind and caring person...and Natalie, you are. 
• One of your strengths is empathy. Like mother, like daughter. You don't worry about many things but when you do, it usually has to do with if someone else is going to be ok. Evie Monster had to have a second set of tubes put in and her adenoids taken out this year. From the moment you heard surgery, your eyes filled with anxiety for your sister. Was she going to be ok? Was it going to hurt her? Was she going to have to have a needle in her arm? All of the unknowns just about killed you. And it's the same when we watch movies. If someone is being bullied or hurt, you can't watch. I just don't think your heart can take it. 
• You continue to be a gymnast. If there is an open space, we can be sure that you will be doing a cartwheel. You are constantly tumbling. You stayed in the community ed gymnastics program all year and by this last session, you finally made it to the advanced class. You also participated in track again this year. You really wanted to do softball, but I convinced you to do track one more year by being an assistant coach. Long distance is your thing. You would rather run a 400m than a sprint any day. Your long jump got much better along with your baseball throws. Next year you can give softball a try. 
• You got your own room this year. You really like it during the day to lock your sisters out, but I think you would still prefer to sleep with someone else in the room. It was a little bit of a transition for you but now you have gotten the hang of it. If only it would stay picked up....
• In August, we had to put our awesome dog, Casey, to sleep. He was sick and nothing we did helped him get better. Of the three of you girls, you will have more memories of him and his death affected you the most. In the months following, not having a dog in the house was difficult for all of us and you talked about Casey a lot. What you missed about him, the things you remembered that he used to do...it was apparent that we needed to do something until we were ready for another dog. So, for Christmas, Beth and Luke got you all you needed for hermit crabs. You got 2, Flounder and Sebastian, and read up on how to take care of them. Unfortunately, Flounder didn't last long, but Sebastian is still kickin'! By March we got a new dog and all seems to be right in our house again.
• We had a check up this year at your GI and after chatting and some blood work, you continue to thrive on your gluten free diet. We also decided that this was the year to tackle school lunches for you. Macie had the option to eat one hot lunch a week and you wanted to as well. So after talking with the district about options for you and meeting with the food service coordinators, you have been able to have gluten free hot lunches at school. We also learned that next year they will have a complete gluten free menu each month for you to choose from so that will be pretty great!

Natalie, you are a kind, creative, generous 9 year old who loves to draw, read about sharks, play with friends, watch Disney movies, snuggle, craft and play house with your sisters. You are growing up fast, but I am trying to enjoy it. Continue to be you. You are so, very, good at it. 

I will love you forever,

Mommy.

Baby #1 Turns 8!

Just after your 7th birthday you pulled out your other front tooth up at the cabin.
No corn on the cob for you this summer!

7 1/2 - Carving pumpkins - You were a cowgirl for Halloween

Almost 8 - What an amazing little girl you are.

My dearest first child,

You are growing up too fast. Look at that picture. You are getting so old and Daddy and I couldn't be more proud to call you our own. Part of what I love about doing these birthday posts for you girls is that I get to look back on the year and see all that you have accomplished. As we are in the moments of life, I think, "I'm always going to remember this." and the truth is...I never do. So, here are just some of the things that stand out the most about you at this age. 

• We have decided to call you "Lollie" at home. Evie has had a hard time saying your name, but Lollie has come out when trying to get your attention. You always knew she was talking to you so you just answered. You don't love the nickname, but to me, that is what makes it perfect. Believe me, you will grow attached to it no matter how angry you get when we use it.
• You are the oldest. Not only the oldest child in our house, but the oldest of all your cousins (6 and counting!) on both sides of our growing family. Mommy and Daddy expect a lot from you because of that, and we know that isn't fair. You, however, handle it beautifully. You take your sisters or little cousins by the hand and play with them. You talk to them nicely and help them if they are making some not so good decisions and they all adore you. (With the exception of Macie once in a while...)
• You have handled having Celiac Disease with amazing maturity and grace. We rarely see you feel sorry for yourself. There are times where you are sad because you can't eat at certain restaurants or have a treat that looks really good, but within minutes you are talking to us about all the really good things you CAN have. The other really cool part about the path we were put on with Celiac Disease is how many people we have been able to help. A friend of ours from church was recently diagnosed and you have helped to inform him about all the really yummy goodies he should try. Not to mention whenever you bake with Grandma or me, you always want to make sure we bring him some next time we go to church. I mean...wow. 
• What do you want to be when you grow up? An art teacher. You love to doodle and draw. You make pictures for everyone that comes over. When I can't find you in the house, I just have to find a quiet spot and there you are with a color book and markers or crayons. I hope you continue to use that creativity throughout your life. 
• You have participated in gymnastics and track this year. Track was new for you and you did so great. You are a one pace kind of girl. You ran the 800 meter twice during the short season and got 2nd place both times for your age group. You ran it in 4 minutes 8 seconds. 
• For your birthday this year you have decided to get your ears pierced. When Macie got hers when she was 3 1/2, you wanted nothing to do with it. You hid behind Evie's stroller because you were scared. I don't know what changed your mind, but after school we will be heading to the mall to get it done. 
• Second grade has been great for you. You had an amazing teacher that pushed you when you needed to be pushed and helped build your confidence in all areas. I have seen more growth and spark in you this year more than any other. Third grade is a big jump and I feel that you will have your ups and downs, but overall, you have the skills and tools you need to be amazing.

Seven has been a really fun age to watch you grow and learn. Daddy and I would like to bottle you up right now. You cuddle, hold our hands when we go out, play well with both your sisters, get excited at just about anything, your reactions to the experiences you have are genuine, and your outlook on life is so unique. You are a smart, loyal, compassionate, sincere, and sweet little girl. 

Happy Birthday Natalie.

Love,

Mommy.

Baby #1 Turns 7!

Just after your 6th birthday

6 1/2 - Your first time back to the GI since your celiac diagnosis. The Dr. was very happy with what we told him about you and all of your test results came back looking great!

Just before your 7th birthday.

Dear Natalie,

You are 7. How did this happen? Everyone talks about how time goes by so fast and I look at you and know it's true. You are 7. I am the mother of a 7 year old. A second grader. A kid who can ride a bike, go play with friends, read, write, and pull out her own teeth. It's almost more then I can handle. First grade was great for you this year. You have learned so much! We sit down at dinner and have these conversations with you and I wonder where the time has gone. You now not only talk about your day, but you are interested in what we have done during our day as well. I can only imagine what the upcoming year will bring. Here are some more things about you right now that stand out.

• Your friendships are very important to you. Everyday you are hoping to go outside and play with neighborhood friends. We are so lucky to have a lot of great people around us. Not only do you want to play, you bring Macie with you. I know it's not always what you want to do, but she looks up to you and is SO BORED when you are at school all day! You are also a very good friend. You are always looking out for others and your kind heart sometimes takes over and you forget to worry about yourself. 
• As of right now you have lost 4 teeth. 3 on the bottom and 1 on the top. The other one is loose, so I'm sure it will come out soon. We were also told by the dental hygienist that she has never seen a 6 year old know how to brush so well! 
• Every time you see a space big enough, and sometimes a space NOT big enough, you are practicing your cartwheels. Tumble, tumble, tumble. You have now gotten good enough that your legs go up and down without any problems. Your next goal: handstands. Let's pray for a strong neck.
• Wipe out. It finally happened. You have has small falls on your bike, but this last one was a doozy. You went out on a bike ride recently with your dad and sisters and after about 10 minutes, I got a call from Daddy saying you fell, and it was a good one. (I could hear you screaming.) You made it back home just fine, but were pretty shook up. It didn't help that blood was running down your leg. We got you inside and cleaned up and now you show your war wound off to whoever will take a look. 
• You continue to love school. Reading has not come as easily for you but you work very hard at it. You see your Title One teacher almost every day and enjoy picking out books to read to us at home. You struggle at times, but once you realize that you can do it, instead of feeling defeated, you breeze through your books.
• You are a happy kid. There isn't a lot of days that we don't see your smile. You are also picking up on Mommy and Daddy's sarcasm, although you aren't throwing it back at us like that middle sister of yours. You continue to aim to please. And very seldom disappoint.
• Evie continues to be in love with you. Not only Evie but Eli, Easton and Brody as well. All the babies born in 2010. You know how to make them giggle and play with them. They can all say your name now and you are the first one to run and give them hugs when we visit. 

As always, this list is shortened. I want to remember you like this. I want to remember you at this age. Each year will bring something new and each year I forget a little more about what the past years were like. You have two sisters behind you, watching your every move and you are doing an amazing job showing them the ropes. We are SO proud of you and the little person you have become. 

I love you more then words can say.

Mommy.

So...maybe I should get a fish.

This post is dedicated to my friend Carrie, who has inspired the title. Thanks Care :)

A fish you might ask? Yes, a fish. Let me tell you why...

I am a maternal person. It is just a part of who I am. Even as a child I knew this about myself. I started babysitting my cousins young and always had little ones on my lap at Christmas even though I was a little one myself.

I did not get along great with my sisters growing up. I had a couple of problems...first, I always had the thought that I was just as old as Sarah, who was two and a half years older than me. Maybe it was because she was the same size as me and maybe it was just a complex, but it is what I believed. Then, when Beth came 14 months after I was born, I was determined to be her mother. She latched on to Sarah, wanting nothing to do with me...rightfully so. So, even though I didn't get along with either of them, I was extremely protective of both. Again, mothering instincts kicking in.

As a fourth grader, I knew teaching was what I was meant to do with my life. It just fit with every part of who I am. I have never imagined doing anything else.

So now, I am an adult. I am a teacher. I am a wife. I am a mother. I love who I am and what I do.

Now comes the problem. As a mother, for me, I tend to forget the hard or painful times when it comes to my children. The uncomfortable parts of pregnancy, labor, when the kids get sick, etc. God gave me this incredible absentmindedness when it comes to these things. I remember Natalie being 3 months old and looking at Brian saying, "So, when do you want to do this again?" Yep...just a little bit crazy.

* Sidenote - Please keep in mind that I am also the type of mom who has to be away from her children every once in a while. And they need to be away from me. I am a firm believer in focusing on my relationship with Brian so that the rest of the family can be healthy. Everyone in my family has a place. Brian and I are first and the girls come next. This is not to say that I ignore my children. But if Brian and I fall apart, then there is no family and that is the last thing I ever want to happen. Ok, back to the reason I wrote the post*

Evie is going to be two soon and my belly is ITCHING to be pregnant. I see pregnant ladies everywhere. Not only are they stalking me, but families with 4 children follow me around! I think about it and wonder...what's the big deal? But, I have to stop and think. I have to stop and truly think about how full my plate is.

This weekend was one of those weekends. Evie has been running a fever for 2 days. Macie woke up with a fever last night. We were madly dashing back and forth to the doctor to see what was going on. Well, Mace had strep. Great, well theirs meds for that. But Evie, nothing. Teeth are coming in and she has a cold. Overall, she just isn't feeling well. After getting home and trying to make it though the rest of the night, Evie is truly uncomfortable. She spent about 4 hours crying. I had no clue what her problem was. She wouldn't go to sleep even though she was exhausted. I hadn't eaten all day because of the worry and was at my wits end. I was in her bed with her crying too. I made a call to a dear friend who told me, "Gina, go bring her to Children's. This is not like her. Go find out what is wrong." Let me tell you...you need people like this in your life. They save you in moments like this.

So, Macie is already asleep at 7pm because she is exhausted. Natalie was such a trooper all day, we let her stay up with our neighbor who came over while we went to the hospital. As we get there, Evie burps once and "beepers" (as we call it) twice, and I am thinking "Oh, no. We did NOT just come to the ER for gas!" She gets checked in, checked out by the nurse practitioner and we run some tests. Another strep test, because she has a weird rash on her neck and forehead, nope. Not strep. They took some urine to see if she had a bladder infection. Nope, not that either. Finally they did an x-ray of her belly, which was not my idea but that is the exact reason why I feel Children's is the BEST place to go. And that looked fine. In the process of all of this my third child continues to beeper all over the place.

So, we go home. Was she screaming for 4 hours due to gas? Maybe. Were their other things going on with her to cause her to cry and scream and take in more air which causes her to have more gas and pain? Yea, probably. But YIKES! WHAT AM I...NEW? Frustrating.

It is weekends like this that I HAVE to remember. I have to remember what weekends like this do to me. These weekends are not going to go away. I know that. In fact, having three girls, the problems are going to turn from little things like gas to lord knows what. Let the emotional roller coaster begin.

I am a very blessed woman. I am surrounded with love and support. Not everyone has that. I needed to write this to remind myself that I have a lot. Adding another child to our lives would be great, but I need to live in the world now and stop thinking about what I wish I had. Plus, I don't know that having another baby would stop my wanting for babies! As Molly and Carrie have both told me, "Gina, if you have another child, does that mean you WON'T want another one?" Um...I'm not sure.

So, there it is. Focus on the now. Love what you have. Deal with what is in front of your face.

Ok. I will try.

Sour Grapes!

The other night at dinner, the green grapes were quite sour. The girls made sure we knew what their sour faces looked like. I thought I would share. Enjoy!

Natalie's sour face

Macie's sour face

Evie didn't get it. 

Baby #1 Turns 6!

On your 5th birthday I was trying to come to grips with the fact that you would be starting kindergarten in the fall. You seemed too old at the time.

By the time this picture was taken, you were half way through kindergarten and had become a big sister for the second time. You and Macie started to play outside by yourselves and love to come in for some hot chocolate to warm up before lunch.

Here you are. 6. There are not words to describe how I feel about you turning one year older. Happy, sad, amazed, proud, excited, and so many more that really don't even touch on how I truly feel. 

Some things about you:

• You are an amazing big sister. You help me out all the time. Whether it is running to get me something or unbuckling your sisters in the van once we get somewhere, you are a helper. Your sisters also look to you for help and guidance. They want to be where you are. Although this can be annoying at times, they love you and I hope you see it that way one day.
• This is the first year I have gotten to stay home with you and your sisters part time. It has been great. You love going to daycare, and you tell me that you love it, but when you get to be home with me, there are many kisses, hugs and "I love you Mama"s.
• You got to be in gymnastics and soccer this year. You love gymnastics and can't wait to start up again. You also love soccer because Daddy is your coach, although you wish there wasn't so much running.
• Kindergarten has been a lot of fun for you. I have watched you learn your star words and make new friends. We hear a lot about Ella and Connor in your class (not the Connor from across the street.) You circle words you know in our church bulletins and write our names on any piece of paper you can find. 
• You learned how to ride a two wheeler this year! You started off riding the little Dora bike in the basement at the end of the winter and once it was warm enough to ride outside, it just clicked. You haven't stopped since.
• You also lost two teeth so far and started to get in 4 molars. You lost your two bottom teeth and Evie just got two in! Daddy pulled your first tooth out and you were ok until you felt the hole in your mouth. You immediately started crying even though the worst part was over. We put your tooth under your pillow and the tooth fairy gave you $2. One to save or spend and one to donate. First you wanted to give your dollar to your Grandma and Grandpa, then after some talk about what donating meant, you decided to help the animals. You donated your dollar plus 4 more to the Humane Society. 
• When you first meet someone, you seem very shy, but usually all it takes is for that person to ask you to play or smile at you and you open up like a book. I love watching this transformation happen in just seconds. And when it is time to go, you make sure that you give hugs to EVERYONE! People melt when you hug them.
• I know there is a lot more I can say about you, but these are the main things that come to mind right now.

I love you big girl. I wish there was some way to stop you from growing up because it makes me sad. I also know that there is a lot of fun stuff coming up and I am really excited for that. So, I will just keep writing and posting pictures so I can try and remember what you were like at this exact moment.

Love Always,

Mommy.

We'll All Float On Alright

Dear Rory,

Yep. Its been about that long since I have written you a letter. You come sneaking up on me when I least expect it. I'm not sure if that is a good or a bad thing, but it definitely is a thing.

This week it was Natalie. We were at church and instead of having the prayers of the people read by one person, sometimes the congregation writes their prayers down and we bring them up to a basket at the front of the church. Sunday was one of those times. I asked Natalie if there was anyone she wanted to pray for, if she knew of anyone who was sick that she wanted to feel better. She said "Rory." I was completely caught off guard.

Her prayer went something like this (with some guidance from me):
Dear God, I hope Rory feels better now that he is up in heaven with you. Love Natalie.

Then, today Brian and I were cleaning out our room and he found a notebook with a score sheet in it. It was the last time we played "Jables" with you. Not to mention all the pictures from your funeral that we had hidden in a drawer because we couldn't look at them anymore.

Finally, in a conversation that Brian had with his aunt about music, Modest Mouse's Float On was brought up. All day it has been playing in my head. Maybe this is the next stage of my grief. Maybe it is the next stage of understanding my faith. Am I letting you go?  Is God trying to heal my heart? I'm not sure about any of that. What I am sure about is that it's a damn good song.

I miss you terribly.
I love you dearly.
I'm sad you're not here.
Gina

Enchilada!

Are you wondering why I am posting all of these recipes? Well, let me tell you...

Brian has work wives. Yes, work wives. It isn't enough to just have me. He has not one but TWO work wives. I don't think he was looking for them. He must have a helplessness about him and some women must be drawn to that. Or, he is starting to produce estrogen. Either way, when we have a lot of left overs from dinner, Brian will bring extra a share. (Yes, he did well in kindergarten.)

On top of sharing my meals with the ladies, he proceeded to show them our Google Calendar. Each of us in the family has a color that shows up on the calendar when we have things going on. Well, there is also a dinner calendar. I plan meals for about two weeks, and buy groceries accordingly. It has taken me a LONG time to work this out, but when Natalie was diagnosed with Celiac, I had to plan more. I didn't have a choice. No more fast food or Campbell's Soup casseroles for us. There are also weeks that I don't plan because I fell off the wagon, but I try and do it because it helps us eat healthier meals.

So, the wives have wanted a couple of my recipes and I thought this was the easiest way for them as well as others to get some new dinner ideas.

This is one of Brian's favorite meals that I make. My mom used to make enchiladas using Hormel Chili instead of enchilada sauce. Imagine my surprise that while grocery shopping one day, I found sauce specifically for ENCHILADAS! However, I did not notice that the sauce came in mild and hot, and I proceeded to buy the hot. I make sure to check the label now. I adapted my mother's recipe and came up with this. Enjoy!

Enchiladas
1 lb. hamburger
2 cans refried beans
2 c. shredded cheese (I use Colby Jack, but you can use what you have in the fridge)
1 or 2 cans enchilada sauce - depending on how many you are making
2 packages of burrito size flour tortillas
lettuce
salsa or tomato or both
avocado
tortilla chips
sour cream

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Brown hamburger in large pan and drain grease. Add refried beans and 1 c. shredded cheese. Mix and warm until smooth and cheese is melted. Scoop meat/bean mixture into tortillas. I usually use a soup spoon and put two heaping spoonfuls into a tortilla and roll it up pretty snug. Continue to do this until all mixture is used. For me, this usually makes about 10-12 enchiladas.

If making 4 enchiladas:
Use one can enchilada sauce. Spray bottom of glass 8x11 or 9x13 with cooking spray. Pour small amount of sauce onto the bottom of your dish and spread around to coat. If you forget to do this, your enchiladas will stick to the bottom of your baking dish. Place 4 enchiladas into your dish and pour the rest of the enchilada sauce over the enchiladas. Cover with foil and bake for 30-40 min until sauce is bubbly. Remove from oven, take off the foil and top with 1 cup cheese. Put back into oven uncovered until cheese is melted. Serve with taco toppings. Enjoy!

BONUS!
What I love about this recipe is that sometimes I will just make the enchiladas and wrap 4-5 of them in plastic wrap and put them in the freezer. When I want to make them, I grab them out of the freezer, put them in a dish, cook and dinner is done! You can thaw them or cook them frozen. Just follow the steps above. If you are cooking them frozen, they will take 50-60 minutes.

GLUTEN FREE
I know you think I've lost my marbles saying this recipe is gluten free. Because, its not. But when we have enchiladas, what I will do, is save some of the meat/bean mixture for Natalie and spread it on corn tortillas for her and cook it on the stove top, like a quesadilla but with beans and meat instead of just cheese. I have tried using corn tortillas instead of flour for this recipe, but haven't quite mastered it yet. The corn tortillas get all cracked and crumbly. Also, be careful which enchilada sauces you are buying. Some are gluten free and some aren't.

In Their Words Wednesday

I am so behind on my posts! I fount this one and forgot to post it quite a while ago. Not very long, but still...enjoy!

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Macie: My baby is sleeping
Molly: Oh. What's your baby's name?
Macie: No, not a baby. A tuppy. (puppy)
Molly: Well, what's your puppy's name?
Macie: Tulta
Molly: Tulta?
Me: Sulsa?
Macie: Yea, Tulta!

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Every once in a while Natalie will be talking to Evie and soon we will hear...

Look Mommy! She's givin me the BIG EYES!

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COOKIES!

'Tis the season for cookies. For the second year in a row now, Amy and Joe have borrowed our kitchen to make Christmas cookies. Last year they each took a day off of work and had the house to themselves. This year, they decided to come over on Black Friday and spend the day with us. Well, they did an amazing job. Buck-eyes, melt-a-way mints, fudge, chocolate covered cherries, candied orange peel dipped in chocolate, peanut-butter kiss cookies, macaroons, Andies mint chocolate cookies, and crispy marshmallow peanut cluster cookies (which are actually called Almond bark cookies, but I like my name better.) They made a few more than that, but I either don't know the names of the cookies or forgot what else they made. Now, when I hear cookies, first I think, YUM, then I think, GLUTEN. Well, Amy and Joe made all of these cookies and of all of them, only three of them contained gluten. I just think that is awesome and this is my public way of saying "THANK YOU JOE AND AMY" for keeping Natalie in mind while cooking in our house. You are awesome. Thank you for finding gluten free flour and switching a couple of the recipes so Natalie could be included in your baking. You rock!

So Brian and I can each devour a whole plate of Buck-eyes. These are peanut butter balls dipped in chocolate. Need I say more? But the crispy marshmallow peanut clusters have become my second favorite and they are so easy. These were one of the cookies that were not gluten free because of the rice crispies, but that was easily remedied when I went to the store. Here it is! Enjoy!

Crispy Marshmallow Peanut Clusters
10.5 oz bag of Mini Marshmallows
2 lbs. Almond Bark
3 c. peanuts
6 c. rice crispies
1 c. peanut butter

Natalie helping with the mixing!

In a large bowl combine marshmallows, peanuts and rice crispies in a large bowl. Cut almond bark into chunks and melt in a double boiler. Once melted and smooth, remove from heat and add peanut butter. Once peanut butter is melted into the almond bark pour over dry ingredients. Mix well and spoon onto wax paper. Allow to cool down before you try and take them off the wax paper. I put them out in the garage so they would cool down faster. Enjoy!

Elena, please note the Diet Coke. I kept it in the picture just for you!

My Tough Girl

So when Evie arrived, Natalie and Macie immediately fell in love with her. Of course they did. She is not only gorgeous, but an amazing baby. Both girls OBVIOUSLY knew from the start that their baby sister was/is perfect.

But, like all children, they both went through transition. Natalie got a little bossier and Macie, well, she did the only thing she knew how to do well...take everything out on me.

Macie would love Evie up everyday. Tell me everything she was doing at every moment. Talk to her in a voice three octaves higher than her normal voice. Then...she would throw fits over nothing, do things she knew she shouldn't do and climb into bed EVERY SINGLE NIGHT! Brian and I had to do something.

I got my ears pierced when I was 5. So did my sisters. It was the age when my mom decided that we were old enough to have our ears pierced. So, I decided that when Natalie turned 5 in May, she could get hers pierced too. Needless to say, she wanted nothing to do with it. She knew that it would hurt and she said "NO." on her 5th birthday. So, I was a little upset, and my retort was "Well then, I'll bring Macie to get her ears pierced on your birthday!" I know, its not that mature. I didn't bring her. I'm not that mean.

But this sparked Macie's interest. She was all for getting her ears pierced. So, when Evie was born in June and Macie started acting up in July, we started a sticker chart that she could earn stickers to get her ears pierced. She could earn up to 4 stickers a day for listening to me and her dad. If she got 4 stickers a day, she would have earned all her stickers in three weeks. Of course there were little prizes here and there to keep her interested and, after about 4 weeks, Macie earned her big prize: we went and got her ears pierced.

September 3rd, 2010: This girl was amazing. She sat down. She picked out the purple earrings, of course, we got the little purple marks on her ears. I checked them to make sure they were even, which I don't think they are, and there she sat. One, two, three. Done. Not even one tear. She looked at me like it hurt, but when I told her it was over she just smiled and laughed a little. The kind of laugh where she didn't know whether to keep laughing or cry. What a tough girl.

Purple Ears Pierced!

So Proud

Me and My Little Girls

What was Natalie doing during all this? She was hiding behind Evie's stroller. Oy.

In Their Words Wednesday

Goodness. I do love my kids.

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While eating dinner, Macie went to touch something close to or on Natalie's plate.
Natalie: MACIE! Don't touch my food with your gluten fingers!

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Natalie: Mom, this is how I talk to Evie in my polite voice...
(her voice gets 2 octaves higher) Hi! Hi Evie! Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!


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Me: What did you do at free-choice today?
Natalie: Played Leap Frog. But Mom, they weren't real frogs cause if they were, they would be peein' and jumpin' all OVER the place!


Thanks for the visual.

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While we were laying in bed one morning, Macie bonked her head on the wall.
Macie: Ow. That tickled Mamma!
Me: It did?
Macie: Yea. But Mamma, when I say it tickled, it actually hurt. I just joking when I say that.
Me: Oh. Ok. I'm glad you understand the difference. :)

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A few times this week I have gotten to observe Brian and Evie adore each other. Brian lays on the ground  puts her next to him. She lays there and simply stares at him. Most of the time she smiles then every once in a while you will hear a soft coo and she starts to pant, kick and flail her arms wildly. They are so deeply in love with each other. I'm sure I will never see a more beautiful sight than this.

Insert tears. ;)
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In Their Words Wednesday - a day early

So this is coming on Tuesday because I keep forgetting to post it.

Recently our niece spent the night at our house. Man is she funny!

In the car on the way back from Beth's house:
Hailey: Gina, you drive fast. My mom drives slow.

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While looking at our book shelf in the living room:
Hailey: Wow! You guys have a lot of Jesus books!

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Natalie: Macie, did it hurt when you got your ears pierced?
Macie: No.
Natalie: Did it tickle?
Macie: Yup!

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Me: Natalie, guess who called me on the phone the other day?
Natalie: Who?
Me: Nick Jonas!
Natalie: Fo' Real!?!?

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June 24th, 2010

Evie Marie Stangl

Born: June 24th, 2010 at 4:15 p.m.

6 lbs. 7 oz.

19 1/4 in.

Dear Evie,

You are finally here and all of us are so glad! However getting you into this world was quite a process, but what labor isn't? I want to write this down so that you know and so that I don't forget, so here goes...

Saturday, June 19th, 2010

Natalie and Macie were spending the weekend with Grandma and Papa so Mommy and Daddy could get some much needed rest. Every day towards the end of your pregnancy was tiring and by 6pm every night I was in the tub to relax then to the couch to rest. We spent Saturday outside with friends at a crayfish boil. The weather was beautiful and I even managed to get a little sun. Daddy and I got home and as we started to get ready for bed, I noticed that I started to have some contractions. They weren't very painful but I could definitely tell something was going on. So, off we headed to the hospital.

I was having contractions, but they weren't very strong, so the Dr. on call decided to give me something to stop the contractions and by 10:00 am we were headed home.

Sunday, June 20th, 2010
Sunday was very uneventful. We spent the day resting and your sisters came home from Grandma and Papa's house. All of us were getting very impatient to meet you!

Monday, June 21st, 2010
Natalie and Macie headed to daycare and I spent the day resting. Around dinner time, I started to not feel very good...again. This time, my contractions were much more painful than two nights ago, but they were only coming every 20 minutes or so. As the hours passed, I continued to contract but nothing was very consistent. By 1:00 am, we decided to call the Dr. and he recommended that once my contractions reached 5 minutes apart, to head to the hospital. Of course, once I got off the phone, they stopped. Arg.

Tuesday, June 22nd, 2010
Daddy took the day off of work to go to the Dr. with me. We had been up most of the night wondering if tonight was the night you were going to make your grand entrance, so needless to say, we were both pretty tired. We saw the Dr. and she told me that I was 4-5 cm dilated and to continue to wait it out. This, of course, put me into tears because I so badly wanted to be done being pregnant and anxious to meet you. They sent me home to rest and relax. She also reminded me that the longer you stayed in my tummy, the better it was for health reasons. So, the waiting continued.

Wednesday, June 23rd, 2010

The day was pretty uneventful but once dinner time rolled around, the contractions started again. This time, they were close together and painful. I didn't want to go to the hospital, but Daddy insisted. We called Grandma to come and watch your sisters and off we went. The nurses put me in a room and monitored me for a while and yes, I was definitely in labor, however I was still not 37 weeks; I was 36 weeks 5 days. We walked the halls trying to progress labor but by 11:00 pm, everything had stopped...again. We didn't know what was going to happen. At that point, I just wanted to go home. However, that was not suggested and we decided to stay. I was still at 5 cm and the Dr. on call to give me an oral medication and a shot of morphine to help me sleep through the night. I was nervous about the morphine since I had never taken it, but finally made the decision to put my trust in the Drs. and nurses taking care of me and do what they thought was best. I have to say, that was the best decision we made. I got a wonderful night of sleep.

Thursday, June 24th, 2010
I woke up at 5:15 am and had the nurse check on me and when asked if I could sleep more, I said "Yes!" so, that's what I did. I woke up at 7:30 am ready for whatever they were going to tell me. My new nurse was Jan, a nurse that I had had for both of your sisters and is one of the most amazing people I have come into contact with in my life so far. She is amazing and loves her job. After checking my cervix she reassured me that, no, I wasn't going home. After she told me that, I was ready to name you Jan.

The rest of the day was pretty uneventful. I wasn't in as much pain and did some more walking to see if I could move things along. I went from a 5 to a 5 1/2 but it was enough for my Dr. to give permission for an epidural and pitocin. Jan had to help with another labor so she introduced us to Jessica. Again, another amazing woman. We waited for the pitocin to start to work and after an hour or so, a resident came in to break my water.

~Sidenote~ I love watching nurses teach residents what to do!

I still was not making a lot of progress and Jessica noticed that the resident may not have broken my water like she thought she did, so Jessica gave it a shot. She definitely accomplished the task. Not long after that I was fully dilated and my Dr. was called. Jessica suggested that I start to push you out so that when the Dr. arrived she would just have to catch. We went through a couple of rounds of pushing and after 3 or 4 rounds Jessica says "Ok, I want you to push one more time, but I may you stop depending on how close the baby is to crowning...OK STOP! We are going to wait now." It's a good thing I had an epidural, otherwise there would have been no stopping!

My Dr. came through the door minutes later panting! She was stuck in detours and construction and I am pretty sure she ran as soon as she parked her car. Once she was ready, I pushed and not long after, out you came. It was such an amazing moment for all of us in the room. Our Dr. who had been with us through all the scary parts of the pregnancy, Jessica who had helped us through out most of my labor during the day and Daddy and I.

The Dr. held you up and immediately I started to laugh and cry all at the same time. I was so excited that you were a girl. You completed our family and had fought your way to be with us. You were placed on my chest and Daddy and I couldn't stop giggling and crying. As I looked at my Dr., she was smiling and crying with us. What an amazing person. There was no hurry to take you away from me. I cleaned you off and kissed you, and Daddy named you Evie. What a perfect little girl you were the moment you breathed your first breath.

As soon as I could I called Grandma and she put Natalie on the phone...
Natalie: Hi Momma! Are you coming home?
Me: Soon honey...Mommy had the baby.
Natalie: You had the baby!?!?
Me: Yea! You have another baby sister.
Natalie: (big inhaled breath) MACIE WE HAVE A BABY SISTER!
The sound of her excitement still replays in my head when I watch her with you.

Evie, we didn't know if you would make it to us safe. On the day you arrived it was one of the happiest days of our lives. We love you so much and can't wait to watch you grow and see what kind of person you are going to become.

I love you always.
Mommy

In Their Words Wednesday

Some funny things the girls have been saying!
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Macie: You ok Mamma?
Me: Yup. My tummy just hurts a little.
Macie: The baby hurting you?
Me: Yea, a little.
Macie: Oh nuts!

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We were in the van driving somewhere and Jason Derulo's "In My Head" song came on the radio. A few minutes after it was over...

Natalie: Mom, I was jammin to that last song. You know, the "goin down in my head" song. I really like it.

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Al had taken the girls on a walk and they came across a retaining wall. Both girls climbed up and proceeded to jump off of different levels of the wall. Natalie continued to get higher and higher and after each time she jumped off made the statement: "That's what I'm talkin' about!"

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Me: You are my baby.
Macie: No I'm not!
Me: Yes you are. You will always be my baby!
Macie: No! I'm Daddy's baby!"

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Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known. ~Carl Sagan

Dear Baby,

I sit here and continue to wait for your arrival. Will it really take 32 more days until I get to meet you? Will it take less? more? You are still very active in my belly; continuing to toss and turn whenever I am still. My body tries to make room for you and you have no problems pushing whatever you want out of the way.

I am so curious to meet you. First of all, are you a boy or a girl? Through the beginning part of this pregnancy, there was no question in my mind that you are our third and final girl. But the more active you became, both Daddy and I agreed you must be a boy! Now, I'm just not sure. I don't have a feeling either way about your gender but I do know that you are a fighter. From the beginning you have been a fighter and it is something I already love about you.

Second, your name. This has been very hard for Daddy and I. I have given up and left it up to your Dad. I think he has it down to two girl names and two boy names but I think we will still have to spend some time with you before we pick one out. As we searched for names that we liked, we found many, but none that we were absolutely in love with. We didn't even disagree about names. Everything was just Ok. We don't want something too popular or anything that can be spelled 12 different ways. Papa Snyder insists on calling you Vince whether you are a boy OR a girl and Grandma Snyder likes Ronnie (Veronica) or Hannah if you are a girl. Natalie decided a while ago that if you are a boy you should be named Hent, Tent or Trent, and if you are a girl, Sparkle. We will just have to see I guess.

Third, I can't wait for you to meet your sisters. Natalie loves to feel you move around in my belly. She thinks that you are going to be a boy even though she would be ok if she got another sister. She is always coming up to me and asking "Is the baby moving Mamma?" or "I feel something hard right there! What is that?" She can't wait to hold you, take care of you and make you laugh. She is already such a good big sister to Macie. Even though I know she wasn't too  thrilled on having another sibling in the first place, I think she is pretty excited now.

Macie has not been very interested in you until about two weeks ago. She thinks you are going to be a girl. She also has started to touch my belly a lot and insists on kissing and hugging my belly, saying goodbye when I drop her off at daycare and goodnight to you when I tuck her into bed. She asks "Is the baby coming out now?", "Does the baby hurt you Mamma?" and "I want to hold her!" It is so hard for her to wait. I think Macie is going to be my biggest helper once you come. She is not as interactive with other babies we are around, but has to make sure that they have toys, snacks, their cup, whatever is needed to keep them happy. She can't wait to be a big sister.

Fourth, I can't wait for you to meet your Daddy. He is amazing. It took him a little longer to know if he wanted you or not, but I think in his heart he knew you would always be a part of our lives. Many people seem to think that just because we have had two girls already, that we wanted to have a third to try for a boy. But to tell you the truth, we wanted a third CHILD. Boy or girl makes no difference to us. We didn't decide to have children to have a specific gender. We just wanted kids. Daddy loves babies and I can't wait for him to hold you, swaddle you (he is a master at this) and brag about you just like he does about the girls. Even though you are our third, I feel as if he may be more of a baby hog with you. I don't really know why, it is just a feeling I have.

So, I will continue to wait little one. I will tell you to take your time, but as each day passes it is getting harder and harder to be patient. I will continue to count the days.

I love you.
Mamma

In Their Words Wednesday

This is from the last two weeks. It isn't a lot, but I have been wanting to get it out there. Hopefully I can keep it up Elena. Enjoy!

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Brian:What do you think about that Nattie?
Natalie: Daddy, I like Natalie better. Some people call me Nattie, but I like Natalie the best.
Brian: But I can still call you Nattie, right?
Natalie: Yea, but I still like Natalie the best.

Ok, I guess she has an opinion about her name.

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Brian: Where did this rain come from?!?!
Macie: I don't know.
Natalie: Rainclouds.
Brian: Thank you Captain Obvious.

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Natalie: Dad, I took the binder out of Ariel Princess's hair (her Barbie doll) and it was OUT OF CONTROL!

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