Do I start to blog again? Or Not...

I have recently switched to this blog site because the one I was using previously was blocked at work. I also like that this blog is a google application and I use some of their apps already. The last post on the other blog was another letter to Rory. I am glad I still write them and think that it is very therapeutic for me when I am feeling very emotional about him. However, there has been a lot going on in the past six months that I would like to touch on as well. So, here goes...

September: The school year started off great and after going back and forth about having another child, Brian and I decided, why not. Unfortunately, the pregnancy didn't stick and we lost the baby at six weeks. Although this was hard, there was so much support and love surrounding me I got through that time okay. Natalie started her second year of preschool (two days a week) and, just like last year, loved school and her teacher. Macie continues to come into her own and started to talk a lot more. Molly who had been living with us for about 18 months bought her own town home and moved out. Brian and I are so proud of all of the steps she has made to move forward in her life.

October: We were told to wait, and didn't listen. October came around and I was pregnant...again. We are so blessed to not have fertility problems and everything felt different about this pregnancy. We made it to the apple orchard a couple of times and Halloween was a blast.

November: Nothing exciting. November was a boring month.

December: I started to show already and also found out that our neighbors were also going to be having a baby. We were all so excited. Got though Rory's birthday. Got through Rory's death day. The month seemed to fly by, but just in time for Christmas, Dec. 21, I started to bleed. I was 11 weeks and thought I was going to miscarry. I made it through the night without too much more bleeding and after another ultrasound it looked as if the baby was fine, but that I had a hemorrhage. We later found out that the placenta had tore away from the wall of my uterus and caused the bleed. I was put on bed rest and tried to learn what that meant. I still don't completely know.

January: I didn't return to work until I could see my Dr. and decide what was best for me and the baby. Our family, friends, neighbors and church surrounded us with support and prayers throughout the entire situation. It was amazing. I went back to work part time from the second week of January and was glad to be out of the house for part of the day. My father in law passed the winter time away by building the girls beautiful bunk beds which they absolutely love. I was also sent to a perinatologist to have a level 2 ultrasound done to check out how things were progressing with the baby. 20 weeks was the benchmark I had to make it to, so I had to continue to take it easy and just wait.

February: I had a birthday and Macie had a birthday. I can't believe she is 3. What an amazing little girl she has become. I also had my 20 week ultrasound with the perinatologist at which point he said "You healed yourself! I told you you would." And, life returned to normal...somewhat. The stress was gone and I went back to work full time. This was a very good thing. :)

March: March also came and went quickly. I was glad to be back at work full time and I think my students were glad too...I think. Now that the stress of a high risk pregnancy was gone my belly popped out more than ever and the baby was moving around like nothing was ever wrong. We continued to switch the playroom to a nursery and the name search had begun. Natalie wants a brother and Macie wants a sister, however when asked who gets to decide these things they both answer "God." Thats right little girls! Natalie has mentioned suggestions for names though: Boy: Trent, Girl: Sparkle. Thank you 4 year old.

April: April is well on its way and the baby is more active than ever. Both Brian and I thought that we would always have 3 girls, but we both get the feeling that this one is a boy. Heartrates continue to be between 150-155 bpm, but the movement just doesn't stop. Especially from 6-11pm.

All in all, we are loving life and can't wait for what the rest of the year has to bring us. I hope I can continue to find time to post on this blog. It is a way for me to journal and remember. If people read it, that's great, but really I just need a place to share and vent...whether anyone is listening or not. :)